To Be Like God

We had our first ultrasound yesterday, and it was amazing! Even though I complained about not having one sooner, I think I was probably more amazing to see after waiting five months. You could actually see that it was a baby- with a head, a heart, a stomach, a brain, and a nose!

While sitting in the lobby waiting to be called, I felt and noticed my stomach move ever so slightly. The baby was kicking me (or possibly had the hiccups). I told Zack so that he could see it, but surely enough, he wasn't able to.

Then, we were called to the back and met the lady doing the ultrasound. I'll admit that I wasn't actually uber excited about the ultrasound, but I totally began to feel the "realness" when she turned out the lights and lubed my belly up with (surprisingly) warm jelly.

I became an absolute geek! This is my reaction:

Me: Zack! Zack, come stand next to me! Come now! You can't see it over there!
Z: Steph, I can see it from here.
Me: You're supposed to stand over here by my head! Come look at this screen!
Z: ok (hands in pocket, probably nervous)
Me: Are you excited?! I am! I didn't think I would be, but I am right now! I didn't get excited until she turned off the lights!
Z: (still looking at screen)
Me: Are you gonna cry?! I'm so excited!
Tech: (begins ultrasound) There you go!
Me: OMG!!! Zack, do you see your kid?!?! Look at that kid!!! Thats his head! Look at his belly!!! This is crazy!!!
Zack: (smiling)
Me: This is freakin crazy!

Just in case you didn't know this about me, I tend to talk a lot and very fast when I'm nervous or excited. There really is no middle ground... just "a lot and fast".

The baby opened and closed its mouth the entire time and also stuck its tongue out!!! Seriously, you could see his/her little baby tongue come out of its mouth and go back inside!!! Then his/her little hand covered its heart and made it look like s/he was saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

I will say that this ultrasound was THE MOST amazing experience EVER!!! To be able to see something that God has allowed my husband and I to create is probably the most fun I've ever had. To create something so unique and to know that it is now YOUR responsibility to care for it. To love something you don't even know yet so very much. I bet this is the closest feeling to being God and to know how He feels of us.

It truly is amazing!

The Little Things

I was in the shower the other day looking at how my body has changed in these last 20 weeks.

I can no longer see my "hoo haa" without bending down and being intentional about it. My feet are slowly starting to be eclipsed by my growing belly. That dark line that has a technical name I cannot remember at this time is getting darker and more visible from my bra line down to the goods.

Of all these things, I am most excited about something else that is changing...

Can you think of it?????

I'll give you a minute...

I was washing my belly and noticed...

that my belly button is beginning to widen out and become shallow. I'm expecting my innie, like so many other pregnant bellies, to become an outtie...

Now, this may not seem like much to some people... maybe even you.

But I've spent a good portion of my life trying to figure out how in the heck I'm supposed to clean out ALL the lint in my belly button. Don't get me wrong... I clean it all the time. Sometimes with a q-tip and alcohol. But it never gets fully clean because there are years of gunk stashed in all those little folds of skin.

With this growing belly, I'm TOTALLY looking forward to my pregnant outtie so that I can clean the crap out of it and marvel at how wonderfully clean it looks! I'll practically have a brand new belly button when all this is over with! BRAND NEW!!!

20 weeks and counting

Last week we reached 20 weeks... And some of the 20 week milestones.

For example, for the first time in my pregnancy I look in the mirror, and I look pregnant.

I have also started getting (cue scary music intro here...).....

Leg cramps during the night!

Now, I'm no stranger to Charlie horses. I would catch dreadful ones in my leg and butt muscles after marching in parades or football games in high school. I would scream out for my dad, I'd hear him get up, put on his houseshoes and slosh down the hall and into my room to massage out the cramp. My body would be locked up in pain as though I'd been electrocuted. The pain would eventually go away, and daddy and his house shoes would slosh back to his room.

Now... Fastforward ten years...

I'm pregnant, uncomfortable, and catch a cramp in my leg. I moan so that my husband, who sleeps inches away, will wake up and help me. Nothing happens, so I massage my own cramp and go back to sleep. I ask the husband that morning why he didn't wake to help me, and he replies that he thought I was having a bad dream... Really, a bad dream??? WTF!

The next night, I catch a cramp and decide to tell him, "Zack, I have a cramp in my right leg. Will you help me?"

This guy wakes up (probably in a dream state) and massages my LEFT leg! I tell him to forget about it because I could handle it by myself. He turns over and goes back to sleep.

I guess my dad had me spoiled.

Move it Move it

I'm far enough along in my pregnancy to feel the baby move at least once a day. The movements aren't major so that I can see a foot or anything, but I am at the point where I can definitely feel this kid doing the Electric Slide on my bladder.

I like the feeling, but it catches me off guard sometimes (read: most times). At the end of school yesterday, this kid was totally having a jam session for about an 30 minutes. The first song to come to my mind during our little one's dance session was "Move it Move it" from Madagascar.

Actually, he/she is moving right this moment, and I totally have the urge to play the song and dance with him/her. I want my kid to be the one who gets up at the party and dances the entire time, even if he/she is like Zack or me and has no rhythm at all. Hopefully, all this moving is an indicator my kid becoming a fantastic popper and locker!

I Love This Way...

"We do what we do and we do what we live. I love this way cause I got it as a kid."
- "I Want You" by Common

I LOVE Common! Seriously, he can do no wrong. His album "Like Water for Chocolate" is what made me a fan.

I was listening to "I Want You", and the lyrics above always stick with me. I can totally relate because I am very much a lover. I love everyone and everything. And I don't simply love, my love is always deep. I love people forever. No matter what. I feel in my heart that all people deserved to be loved with everything I have. Chances are... If I've met you, I love you very much.

I love this way because I got the same love as a child. I had a very happy life with happy parents, happy friends, and a happy family. At no point in my childhood (or life) do I remember not being loved.

My parents spent a ton of time with me and are my very favorite people in the entire world. I remember being tucked into bed every night as a small child, waking up to a fabulous breakfast on the weekends, joining my parents in their bed to watch late night shows, playing cards all night with my dad to bring in the New Year, and a whole bunch of fun stuff.

I'm going to totally love my kid the way my parents love me. I'm going to sing him/her off to bed and make sure he/she is tucked in tightly so that "the bed bugs don't bite". I want my kid to grow up not being afraid to love people and to love these people with the same love he/she received from me and Zack.

Some Kind of Exhausted

I had a blast at work today! There was a PTA luncheon, and I was able to run around the school catching up with all my friends. Some got married, some went on fabulous trips, and some are also expecting their own bundles of joy!

Did I get any work done??? Depends on how you look at it.

I straightened my desk by throwing everything in the drawers (which eventually got jammed because of all my crap), wrote dates on the first week of my planner, turned in some paperwork, put some stuff in a cabinet, emailed someone about books, printed the syllabus, and.....

yeah, that was pretty much it. I can't think of anything else.

I spent all my time talking and laughing and being unproductive... but who cares! Everything will get done in a week or so.

And even though I didn't get much done, I am HELLA exhausted!!! Like... "crawl on the floor and lay there with no socks on, not caring who walks over you" tired.

I went to the Walmart after work in order to get some things for my room, and I literally wanted to sprawl out in the middle of a quiet isle and dare someone to say something. I finally got what I needed, had it loaded in my car, and drove home. But not before I was forced to give the cashier woman the stank eye for being unnecessarily slow.

My body pillow will definitely be getting some action tonight! I'm gonna be snuggled all up against it.

Cabin Fever

I'm SOOOOOOOO ready to go to work!!!!!

This house has never seemed smaller than right this minute. The stuff in it, as we get the baby's room prepared, is all over the place with no where to go. EVERYWHERE!!!

There's crap on the kitchen table, around the table, behind the sofa, in the upstairs hallway, crowding my precious (usually clean) guest room, sprawled along the walls of the baby's room... EVERYWHERE!!!

I shall mention that only about 15% of this stuff belongs to me because (you best believe) I'm not the one to hold on to old, musty, dry-rotting magazines for the expected (but unlikely) enjoyment of my descendants. As a matter of fact, I've thrown away any of my magazines that are dated before June 2010. I'm not throwing anyone in my house under the bus... but this random, unnecessary crap floating about the house IS NOT mine!!!

I gotta get to work in my own space so that I don't have to look at this... I gotta find a cure for this Cabin Fever!


I feel just like the green guy in this picture! I'm just short of throwing stuff out the window and I'm just waiting for someone to say something "wrong" to me or look at me funny! I'm gonna become a freakin' monster!!!!!

I can't wait to see new faces, hear the laughter and excitement from the children, see and talk to my co-workers, have something to do for longer than 2 hours... I just wanna go back!

NOW!!!!!

But unfortunately, I still have to wait until Thursday...