Self-Diagnosing

I like the doctor, and I don't mind going, but I'm lazy about it. Every once in a while I'll get this crazy skin irritation and tell myself that I'm gonna go to the doctor to se what it is... I never do.

I started getting it in 2004. The first flare up was two days before starting a new job. It begins as a small rash on my bra line and on my hips. Then it spreads down my torso, around my bra line, and down my hips. I get a flare up at least once a year... Usually between January and May.

Initially, I went to google and yahoo to search my issue, and concluded that it was hives. That was in 2004. I treated myself with benedryl and baby powder.

I had a flare up in spring 2008 after completing IEPs for the first time. I still diagnosed myself with stress related hives. I wore babydoll dresses for a week and covered my skin in a cortisone cream and gold bond powder. It was terrible!

Well, two days ago I started another flare up. This time I wasn't stressed, but I was having an allergic reaction to the pollen (which is somewhat unusual for me). With the congestion, dizziness, itchy eyes, and sneezing, came another flare up. I got back on google and webmd to re-research my issue. After careful consideration, I am diagnosing myself with stress and allergen related eczema. I have itchy, red patches of skin that turn into more and then I'm left with dark patches of "scarred" skin when it goes away.

I haven't come up with my treatment yet although it'll probably include goldbond powder because that stuff is The Truth!

Snot

Chipmunk sleeps in the bed with us full time... Primarily for comfort and convenience. He usually sleeps right next to me because we both like to cuddle (my husband isn't the cuddling type).

Well, the other night I heard the strangest sound. I assumed Chipmunk was ready to eat, so I picked him up and gave him a boob. Then I realized that he wouldn't stay latched. Come to find out... The strange sound was horrible mucus in his breathing passages! He sounded like a rumbling freight train! He struggled so much to eat and became so fussy that Zack turned over to see what the deal was. In near panic, I kept repeating that I didn't know but he couldn't eat.

Side note: My husband and all the boys in his family (for the most part) have asthma. I instantly thought he was having his first attack until Zack told me that he wasn't.

Zack took Chipmunk from my arms, and I scrambled up to find a baby thermometer. I found two, but the one I wanted to use was in that stupid theft proof plastic wrapping. In panic, I searched for the box cutters. I ran back in the bedroom and fidgeted with stuff on my nightstand.

Long story short... Zack used the saline and aspirator to clear his nose, and all was well. I took his temperature under his arm using the regular thermometer. The fancy-ass baby ear thermometer that took five minutes to get out the shrink wrap is still sitting on my nightstand next to the instructions.

Baby is still congested (and so am I) but all is well. I've washed down our windows and cleaned out the air machine. Zack put eucalyptus in the humidifier.

All Good Things

They come to an end.

I finally return to work tomorrow. After having been away for twelve working weeks or fourteen calendar weeks.

I leave my baby boy with teachers and caregivers while I go teach someone else's little boy or girl. Right now, at this moment, it just doesn't seem right. Seems ironic.

Six weeks ago, I was excited to be wasting time in my empty classroom because I wanted to be out of the house and away from my husband, parents, and demands of being a new mother. When my co-workers saw me walking into the building, they couldn't believe that I was away from the baby so soon and wondered why I would leave him (if even for a moment) to come back to work (if even for a moment). I explained that I was dedicated to my job and wanted to make sure everything was good for my substitute. I took my time going home that day... Speaking to everyone, going to the grocery store, driving the speed limit.

Now, I lament my lost maternity leave days. Days spent snuggling in the bed while Zack went off to work. Time spent kissing Chipmunk's little nose, chubby cheeks, and scrumptious toes. Moments spent smiling at each other.

I am sad. I've known all along that my leave would end. I thought I was ready, but Im not so sure I am jut yet.

Dilemma

What do you notice about the way Chipmunk sleeps?

He sleeps on his belly... ALWAYS!!! Because his little arms and legs flail everywhere!

Initially we had the fear that he would suffocate after reading all the SIDS literature, but then we spoke to his doctor who told us to lay him down to sleep whichever way he wants. At the beginning of it all, Zack and I would take shifts watching him sleep on his belly because we didn't know what else to do. After that convo with the doctor, we decided that we would use all other SIDS preventative measures and lay him down on his stomach.

Well now, he is about to enter daycare, and they (by standards of the state licensing agency) can only lay him on his back. They told me to see if the doctor would write a note stating that Chipmunk could sleep on his belly, but he refused and stated that he would write a letter for him to be swaddled (which is also against state regulations) during nap time.

When I heard that the doctor would not agree for him to sleep on his belly, I immediately went into action trying to come up with a plan as to how I was gonna get my baby to sleep on his back. I couldn't think of anything. I cried. I cried for 15 minutes in between frantic calls to my mother.

I called the daycare center to see if they had any suggestion, and after giving me one suggestion (putting a blanket around his head to make him feel secure) seen here...

the lady told me "He's just gonna have to get used to it. I'm sorry."

I'm generally tough with my students and their parents because I want the kids to reach their full potential and not be hindered by their parents treating them like "babies", but when I heard that lady tell me that my sweet boy would have to "get used to it", I became furious.

I got off the phone and called my mother. I cried.

My mother put me back on track by confirming that Chipmunk would simply... have to get used to it and I would have to teach him to sleep on his back as best I can.

So where is he now???

Sleeping in the pack-n-play.....

on his belly!!!

Things That Bond Mother and Child

- projectile poop that flies out of the rear end of a 6 day old baby and onto his mother and her light blue sofa.

- mommy sacrifices her nipples and allows them to become dry, cracked, and sore "straws" so that baby can be healthy.

- baby pulling a small plug of hair out of mommy's head with his Kung Fu grip.

- staying up ALL hours of the night together watchig the ceiling fan.

- mommy enduring the cool mist of baby's spit and snot in her face when he sneezes.

- sleeping side by side and drooling on each other when we do sleep at night.

- mommy listening to to the shrill sound and echo of baby's scream as she tries to bathe him in the bathroom.

- baby covering... Literally COVERING mommy and the clean bed linens in warm regurgitated milk.

- then... While mommy cleans up the spit-up, the baby poops with such force that it LITERALLY blows off his diaper, and he pees on mommy's arm and her side of the bed.

- the fact that, when the look at each other in the eyes, they see themselves and all the love they have for each other.

Warm and (not so) Fuzzies

We're very into skin-to-skin contact with our boy, so I dont sleep in a shirt (but then again I never did. I don't like how they get twisted in the sheets). I do wear my maternity bra to keep down on messes and to make it easier to attach my pump.

Well, I was just nursing Chipmunk and needed to burp him. I flung him over my shoulder like an expert and began patting his back. He slid down a little so that his face was on my collarbone. I patted.

Then I hear him burp... And realize that he has spit up a ton of warm milk onto my chest. The milk runs down my bra strap and arm pit. My baby falls asleep.

Whats so crazy is that I'm so used to it that it didnt even shock me. I reached over to the nightstand, picked up a towel, and wiped myself off. The baby is now sleeping in my arms with a towel under his head just in case he has to blow chunks again. I just changed the sheets yesterday... I can't risk it.

Top Five

These are the top five things I do with my son that would seem strange if done with anyone else.

5. I stare at him while he sleeps and study his face.... Up close!

4. I kiss and nibble on all ten toes every single day.

3. I pick boogies out of his nose with my bare hands, and I really enjoy it because he can't do it for himself.

2. I like the feel of his warm drool on my face as I hold him to my cheek.

1. I addicted to smelling his breath because it smells sweet.