Saturday, October 8, 2011

My Approach to Bullies

I had the fantastic idea to go on a playdate at some "kid friendly" playroom. My friends and I showed up to a crazy setting of children running wild and losing their minds. We found a nice quiet corner so that our babies could also play.

Well, fast forward 30 minutes...

Charlie and I are playing in a small corner with a ball from the ball pen when a 3-4 year old walks in our area picking up balls. He looks at Charlie and notices that he is holding one of the balls.

When the kid reaches for it, I tell him that my child is playing with it. He proceeds to take it out of Charlie's hand and walk away. In my teacher voice, I yell, "You should give that back because he was playing with it."

The kid looks at me and starts to walk away.

In my "Don't take stuff from my kid" voice, I yell, "Hey! You! Give it back now!"

The kid ran away with his friend.

I... was... furious!!!!!

I got up off the floor and started to go after the kid. Then I remembered my sweet baby on the floor and decided to scoop him up and walk off my anger.

Long story short... I won't take my kid back to that place until he's six or seven...

Not until I teach Charlie the following procedures for when a kid takes something from him:

1. Calm yourself down
2. Walk over (or run) to the kid and ask politely for your toy
3. If the kid gives it back, take it and say "thank you"


4. If the kid refuses to give it back, push him down as hard as you can, scream "This is MY toy, punk!", take your toy, and WALK away
5. Come find me, and tell me what happened


5. If the kid decides to fight you before you can tell me what happened, you better be ready and willing to whoop his arse!
6. When it is over, come find me, and tell me what happened

I will deal with the parents accordingly.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Gettin' Paid!!!

Ok... I took twelve weeks of leave to stay home with Charlie... about seven of those weeks were unpaid. I've been getting paid part-time, minimum wage checks since April. This was our song for five months.

Well... I just got paid a real check, and our tune has change...

What Baby Gets...

Zack and I were sleeping peacefully early Wednesday morning (3am) until we heard a strange sound in the baby's crib.

The sound of watery vomit splattering against his vinyl crib mattress.

We both jumped from our bed and ran over to see our sweet angel covered in regurgitated baby food... which looked a lot like thick milk.

We wiped the baby down and cleaned his mattress and changed his sheets and placed him in our bed.

Zack, confirming that all was well, decided that he would go to the gym early and come back home before work.

He went downstairs and prepared to leave until...

I screamed for him to come back upstairs immediately.

The baby was HURLING... HURLING!!! out of his mouth... out of his nose... and if it had been possible... out of his ears.

I sat in front of him trying to catch it in my hands, but it was too watery.

I ended up calling off of work to keep him home. We assumed that it was something he had eaten the day before.


Thursday day went well for us although Zack complained of having a "warm" stomach.

We both worked, and Charlie had a great day at daycare.

Until we got home *cue scary music here*

I walked in the door and kissed my family. I grabbed the baby and sat down. About fifteen minutes later, I thought I'd been injected with an "I feel like sh!t" needle. I gave the baby back to Zack and ran to the bathroom. When I came out, I told Zack that he'd have to go to the store and get some ginger ale and saltines because I was getting sick.

While he took his time grocery shopping at Walmart, I tried my best not to pass out. He eventually returned, and I decided to go to bed with my saltines and ginger ale.

That was all she wrote.

Zack and I spent the best part of 8pm-4am taking turns puking up our guts in the bathroom.

(side note: I can literally count the number of times I've vomited on one hand. The last time I did was November 15, 2006 due to food poisoning I received after eating a turkey surprise lunch at a school where I taught. Talk about surprises!)

I tried to work the next day but had to leave because I (obviously) wasn't better. I came home and slept for three hours.

We're feeling much better now, but this episode only proves that what baby gets, we get.