Thursday, October 29, 2009

While the Gettin's Good...

Z: So, when are you gonna start taking the ovulation thing?
S: I guess I should go take one now, don't you think?
Z: I don't know!
S: Ok. I'll go take it now. (walks to bathroom) Zack! Bring me a cup!
Z: (dutifully brings styrofoam cup)
S: (pees in cup. washes hands. walks to upstairs bathroom.) Don't cell phones have stop watches?
Z: Yeah.
S: (places ovulation test in cup. presses "start" on cell phone stop watch)
Z: What does it say?
S: I don't know yet. (takes test out and replaces cap on tip. sets test down on the counter)
Z: (waiting beside me staring at the test)
S: Is that line dark blue? (turing the test around)
Z: (goes and gets the instructions) It looks that way to me! What does that mean?
S: I guess I must be ovulating.
Z: Well, lets get to it!

So, right there... at that moment... we became two people on a mission. Some people would say that we're being too technical with trying to conceive, but the whole experience with taking the ovulation test and finding out I was ovulating was really fun! It was also our time to shine while the getting was good because I took the test this morning and the results of the test were totally different. Just in a matter of hours the results suggested that I was not ovulating.

Could ovulation seriously be like a ghost in the night or a phantom dodging my and Zack's efforts to introduce Mr. Sperm and Mrs. Egg?

The answer to that question..... YES! Yes, ovulation is a phantom menace! Just kidding...


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Another One Bites the Dust

I am sure it is proper conception and pregnancy test procedure to miss one period before peeing on a stick. With this assumption, I add the thought that my grandmother and her mother (and her mother) probably didn't splurge their share cropper husbands' money on ClearBlue Easies and EPTs, and they all had successful pregnancies of 4 or more.

So me.....

I wait...........

Telling myself there is no need to test because God has given us all a built in pregnancy test.

I wait (a little more than five weeks).....................

From the 18th of this month, I've been sitting on my hands trying to keep them from reaching for the HPTs hidden deep in the back of my dark, storage closet of a bathroom cabinet. All the while telling myself that I'd wait "patiently" to take the test on Saturday when Zack leaves for work.

Surely something must be up since my body hasn't clued me in on its secrets for this month. Surely....

I take the test and wait for the symbol on the screen. I check the directions to make sure I'm reading it right. Then the realization sets in that another one bites the dust.

Another test taken in vain, and another 7 dollars down the drain.

However, although I was initially disappointed, I am content that I didn't just wait around until November thinking that I was pregnant the entire time. I spoke to Zack shortly after taking the test, and he couldn't understand why I just didn't (and couldn't) wait... I had little patience in helping him understand a woman's need to simply know the status of her body so that her mind and body can all be on the same page.

I'm attributing Aunt Flo's tardiness to the fact that I've just gone back to work (and changed grades), and my body is adjusting to the pheromones from my "new" co-workers (another concept that is hard to explain to the hubby). I first learned about this biological feature when I was living in a dorm in college, and I always thought it was a pretty cool feature of the woman's body. Despite me not being pregnant and wanting to be this time around, I still think its pretty cool.

But next month, Aunt Flo will have NO excuses...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

If at first you don't succeed...

The husband and I have decided that the time has come for us to try the "become one" part of marriage. Finally... after months of conversations that sound like a tennis match of, "Well, I'm ready if you're ready," we're working on expanding our family. *Note the key word: Working*

We decided in May that I would stop taking the pill and get this whole baby thing underway. We go to the public library. We check out books. We read them. We learn that there is ONLY a 20 PERCENT chance each month to get pregnant (or something like that)!!!! I even heard that, in some cases, a woman can have her period and not ovulate!

My world was shook.....

My reaction: WTF!!! You mean to tell me that my dad was wrong when he told me I'd get pregnant if a boy sneezed on me?!?!?! I CAN'T get pregnant if my husband holds my hand while I'm not on birth control?!?!?!?

Well, based on this new discovery of ours, we decided to try guess-timating my ovulation because seriously.... how hard could it be? I could practically set a watch by my cycle (with or without the pill). I'd go on and use their handy ovulation predictor calculator, and Zack and I will get busy based on the 2-3 days it says I'm most fertile.

Yeah... so.....

This tool might have been helpful if I could accurately pinpoint the actual day my cycle started, but I can't because I'm too lazy to write the stupid Xs or hearts on the calendar for days of my period. Sooooooo..... After about five months, I've decided that getting pregnant is like trying to catch a bus without the freakin' bus schedule. I try to predict when the bus will arrive then I run to the stop only to realize that I missed it by five minutes.

I would have preferred for this conception thing to get a move on back in the summertime because I'm on a schedule. I had everything all planned out. Off BC in May, pregnant in July, notify the parents on my dad's birthday in August, give birth in April-ish, be prepared to enjoy my 10 year class reunion in June, and I'd have the entire summer to spend with baby. Not so much...

We've decided to try an actual ovulation predictor kit to try and get this show on the road. We've both read the instructions and are not-so-patiently awaiting my period, so we can use this kit. If this doesn't work... we'll try the backseat of the car... it seems to work for the teenagers!