Friday, December 31, 2010

Labor So Far...

We were given a room at 10:30pm.
I changed into my gown and chit chatted with Zack and my parents.
I filled out paperwork and answered questions.
My parents went home.
I got the Cervadil to help my cervix and was given an Ambien.
We slept at 1:30am.

We woke at 6:30am.
Contractions got a little stronger.
The nurse we love came in at 7:15 to let us know she was leaving for the day.
The second nurse who is not as personable or as gentle came in and took out the Cervadil.
I had dilated to three cm and the baby is all the way head down.

Nurse two administers the enema and calls for the epidural.
A year of my life ends up in the toilet.
I realized I'm bleeding and Zack calls the nurse.
She comes and says that that is a very good thing.
I get in the shower to wash up with Zack's help.
He notices I'm losing my mucus plug.
I dry off, get in the bed with more contractions.
I blog in...
between...
contractions...

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Surprise... Surprise

I had my 38 week appointment today, and Zack was able to go with me.

Come to find out... my belly was measuring small, so the CNP sent me in for an ultrasound. The ultrasound lady told us that her estimate of the baby's weight was about 7-8 pounds. We got to see the head and the belly, and we were amazed at how the baby had grown. The baby had grown so much that we were not able to see his/her entire body on the ultrasound.

Anyway... We go back to the exam room in order to have my cervix checked. I find out that I am 1cm dialated and 50% effaced. *means nothing to me*

We also find out that there is less fluid around the baby than they are comfortable with. The CNP told us that they like for the numbers to be between 9 and 11, and our fluid number was at 6.3.

We then find out that the doctor has elected to induce us tonight for the baby's health. The CNP stated that she had sent our info to the hospital and told us what time to expect to hear from the charge nurse. She also mentioned that the Labor and Delivery would probably be extremely busy because a lot of people have unnecessary inductions in order to have their baby's at the end of the year (and for other reasons), but we would be put on high priority and placed in a room tonight.

So here we are... waiting to hear back from the hospital about an open room.

My husband has packed nearly everything in the house so that he "won't get bored"... i think its just nervous energy.

I, on the other hand, am playing it cool... blogging...
and flipping through papers...
and shuffling through lesson plans...
and wondering where my socks are...
and running back and forth to the bathroom...
and wondering if my house is clean enough...
and wanting to fold the clothes in the dryer...

well, maybe I'm a little nervous too.

Monday, December 27, 2010

All Things Relative

I was just going to the belly pics we have, and I realized that my stomach at the beginning of my pregnancy was no so bad... but thats definitely relative to the belly I have now.


The first pic was taken in May and this was taken last week.

Patience is a Virtue

Here I am...

Waiting...

Nesting...

and waiting...

I've never been able to pride myself on my patience. In fact, it's something I pray for on a regular basis, and now that I'm waiting for labor to begin, I've become a tad more impatient.

For the last two days, the baby has created a lot of pressure in my hips. My husband even put out of my own bed (which I haven't slept in for several months now) and told to go to "my recliner" while we were watching (and becoming addicted to) the television show 24. There was absolutely no way for me to get comfortable. If I turned this way, there was pressure, and if I sat up there was more pressure. Every time I moved, Zack thought I was gonna go into labor, so he kicked me out of the bed and sent me to my chair... which, of course, was more comfortable.

There is so much pressure that I'm anticipating going into labor some day soon. The doctors continue to tell me that first time moms usually go all the way to their due dates, but I'm remaining optimistic. I'm gonna go walking at the gym tomorrow in hopes that it will prompt our little one to get a move on.

I'm so interested in seeing this little person and counting his or her little toes and fingers. I can't wait!!! I'm actually pumped about the process and not (at least right now) concerned about the pain that is sure to come. I sooooo can't wait!!!!!

Maybe he or she will come tonight!!!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Get Low

I'm at the point in my pregnancy when I go to the doctor every week... FUN!!! Actually, its not that bad because I enjoy the staff at my doctor's office.

Today, I met with MT, a very personable and energetic nurse practitioner. We spoke about the holidays- what she was going to cook and what I was not cooking.

The baby moved around the entire time, and we marveled at my belly as it moved all around... a butt here and an outstretched leg there. Watching the baby move NEVER gets boring! It even took MT about two minutes to catch up with the baby's position so that she could monitor the heartbeat. After catching the heartbeat, we spoke about my recent problems, and she wrote a prescription :-)

After the appointment, I went home, and the baby kept moving. He/she is positioning his/her little body lower in my stomach. This movement literally makes my hips feel like they're opening up, and there are times when I can barely walk. Its not painful... just pressure.

I walk around my house like a 90 year old woman.

But on the super bright side... We'll have a baby in less than 3 weeks!!!!!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Plan Procrastinator

It is currently 5:25am and the last day of the semester. It is also my last day before beginning my maternity leave. I decided some time before Thanksgiving that I would not return after the break so that I would not be so preoccupied with having a baby and so that my sub could spend those (potentially) seven days between the first teacher planning day and my expected due date getting acclimated to her new three month position. I will not return to work until March 31, two days before Spring Break.

My sub plans are super detailed. Unfortunately, however, I have only fully completed (detailed notes, printouts, etc) up to mid-February.

So... As I look at the clock on my phone which reads 5:32am, I know I should be getting ready so that I can leave the house by 6:00 because I want to pick up candycanes for my kids and type letters to their parents and set my away message for my email and clean my junky desk and make sure everything is organized AND eat a bowl of cereal because I'm starving and write a few more thank you cards for co-workers and...and...and the list goes on.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Roid Rage

When you think about getting pregnant, no one ever tells you about all the horrendous symptoms. They focus exclusively on the part where you have a gorgeous baby in your arms... The end result.

I can't really complain about my symptoms of pregnancy or the fact that no one warned me about them because I believe that many of the few symptoms I experience are due to my body shape like the pain the surrounded my entire torso as my baby turned around from head down to head up and vice versa. However, there are some symptoms that are common to all women that no one really warned me about like leg cramps in the middle of the night.

Well, I will tell you. The greatest and most fiercest (in my opinion) of these secret symptoms are hemorrhoids.

Mine (yes, I will claim and own them) began as little painless, harmless visitors. I literally had them for a week and couldn't even tell. I went about my normal, happy, "I could run a mile" pregnancy, and then it all changed.

We went to our 9 month doctors visit, and I mentioned these little things to my doctor for the simple vanity of it all. I told him that they didn't bother me but that I didn't want them there. I explained how I've been more regular since becoming pregnant and he gave me a thumbs up and a nod. When I was done talking, he looked at me very matter-of-fact and stated, "Well, there is nothing you can do about them, and they'll get worse as your pregnancy progresses and with birth." I assumed he was talking about the way they looked.

*sigh*

That evening I come home and it was as though the doctor had given my Roids the thumbs up to act a fool!!! In rolled he swelling and the PAIN. Now, please remember that I can't sleep on my stomach, and sleeping on my sides can get really uncomfortable. Moving in any way, form, or fashion brings on the feeling that Jason has taken a hatchet to my backside. They are so significant that I have decided to name them; they shall be called Brutus... As in the same Brutus who was a friend to Caesar but later betrayed him.

I feel totally betrayed because no one even warned me! I've had women make ambiguous statements like, "Make sure you keep those ice packs the give you at the hospital." Those women didn't mention that those ice packs could be used to soothe the beast that is Brutus!

Oh well... It is what it is, and I'll have to deal. I'm sure I'll be like all the other moms and get complete, selective amnesia when I've got this little baby in my arms. Thank goodness for this blog to help me remember that Brutus was so awful that I stayed up for an hour in the middle of the night just to write about it.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

10 months...

Most people who haven't been pregnant don't realize that a full term pregnancy (from missed period to expected due date) is 40 weeks. I always thought pregnancy was 9 months... And it is... But it's nine completed months which brings you to ten months.

I remember a month ago when my "know-it-all" husband and I were in the La-Z-Boy store selecting the recliner my parents so sweetly arranged to buy for me (please note that I have the absolute best parents in the entire world) because I was sleeping on the sofa. Actually, I wasn't sleeping on the sofa; I was breathing through Braxton Hicks contractions, nursing round ligament pains, and running back and forth to the bathroom with the bubble guts, and I was getting about two hours of catnaps in between all that.

Anyway, we were at the store and Laura, the appointed sales associate, asked how far along I was in my pregnancy. I told her that I had just begun my eighth month. At that moment, my husband who should write a book about all he knows reminded me that I was only seven months. I turned to him then turned back to Laura and said, "Well, I'm actually 32 weeks." Then I turned back to my husband and said, "and 32 weeks divided by 4 weeks in a month is what? Yes, eight months. I know how pregnant I am." In the car, he informed me that pregnancy only lasts nine months and that we still had two months to go so that I couldn't be eight months.

Long story short, I was finally able to convince him that a full term pregnancy lasted 10 months. And he was totally sold on the idea after hearing Kim on Housewives of Atlanta, who declared that she had been to school to be a nurse, state that a full pregnancy lasted 10 months... How bout that!

Well, now, my husband who is now well informed on the length of pregnancy knows that we have started our ninth month and that our (recently, extremely active) baby will be considered full term next Wednesday. The nursery is done, the baby clothes are all washed, we have taken the hospital tour, both cars have been equipped with the car seat bases, we go to the doctor for the vaginal exam tomorrow to heck for dilation and effacement, and the hospital bag is packed. Now, we're just siting back waiting for our little babe to start his or her trip home.

I tell you... Nine months fly by!!! I can't believe it's almost time!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

NO. WIRE. HANGERS!!!!!

So, I have been meaning to organize our closet since Zack keeps saying that I lose his stuff, don't know how to put stuff up, puts his jeans in the wrong place... blah blah blah....

Firstly, there is not nor has there ever been any kind of organization to his clothes... but that is beside the point.

When we got married and I moved all my clothes to his apartment, he was literally appalled that I kept my clothes on the store hangers... which meant that ALL my clothes were on plastic hangers. Some of the clothes were even on the wire hangers I got from taking my clothes to the cleaners. His reaction to my hangers was similar to that of Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest.


After a few months went by, he demanded that I get rid of all the plastic and wire hangers and change over my hangers to wooden hangers because they look neater in the closet. I pushed back due to the cost of having to switch over to wooden hangers, but after having seen them in the closet for so long, I totally agree that they really clean up a closet.

Well, in my recent nesting frenzy, I decided to organize Zack's part of our closet, so I purchased more wooden hangers so that I could hang his jeans and sweatpants. While straightening his shirts and rehanging things, guess what I found.....

Yes!!!! A wire hanger!!!!! In his stuff!!!!!

Needless to say, I have taken it out and thrown it away because wire hangers have NO PLACE in this house!

Friday, November 26, 2010

It's Friday!!!

*singing*
It's Friday, it's Friday!
It's the end of the week and the last day!
Stephie, it's on you!
So, what you gonna do?



Well, I'ma get my eat on...
And I'ma assemble my glider...
And I'ma wash my baby clothes...
All weekend long!!!!!!

P.S
Just so I don't get sued, this is a song that Ryan Cameron sings on his radio show every single Friday.

Now, back to singing!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

"Birth Plan"

I've been reading a few things that state that women should have a birth plan... Well, my plan consists of whatever meds they can give me to take the pain away and have a healthy baby, vaginally.

Although I haven come up with a real birth plan (or one that is more in depth), I have come up with a "birth plan":
- deliver baby on December 23rd (the day after school is out; I'll be 37 weeks)
- come home on Christmas day
- enjoy my maternity leave for the next three months

But, of course, I don't really care it the baby comes that early because 1/1/11 or 1/11/11 would both make really cool birth dates.

Oh well, we'll see! In the meantime, we're gonna install the car seat, pack the hospital bag, and get more stuff for the baby... Thank goodness we get to take advantage of Black Friday sales!!!!! I've already calculated how we're gonna maximize our money.... Which is the best plan ever!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Surprised

I just left my 32 week (8month) appointment and found out that I've only gained 15 pounds during this pregnancy! The baby measures in the 74 percentile, and my belly is measuring on target, so the doctor (and I) have no worries.

I was really surprised when the doctor said how much weight I'd gained since, on a normal un-pregnant day, I usually pack on weight easily. I always just expected that I'd be a whale as a pregnant woman, but it turns out that my habits have gotten better.

So... How do I celebrate this news???

I go home and eat handfuls of Chocolatey Triple Delight Popcorn from the Boyscouts of America!!!!

Yumzers!!!!!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Just So You Know...

Braxton Hicks contractions S.U.C.K!!!!

I've been getting them for about a week now, and they have gotten worst in the last three days. They were so bad last night that I called the emergency line at the doctors office. All the doc said was to take three Tylenols and drink more water... This actually helped so that I could get a "full" night's sleep (5hours).

Tonight however is different.

I took two Tylenols in anticipation of the contractions, but they are not working. The contractions are stronger and are radiating into my back and hips.

I'm pretty sure that the contractions are based on the baby's positioning in my belly. For instance, I will feel the baby push out it's butt or feet, which makes the baby's head move lower, and a contraction starts. It literally feels like bad menstrual cramps that come in waves.

They suck!!!

I get BH sitting, standing, or lying down, when I have to pee, or when the baby moves.

I get them all the time!

Long story short... They suck!!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Booty... Rockin' Everywhere

I'm almost eight months pregnant, and it is so interesting to notice the changes in the baby's movements. At our last ultrasound, we were able to determine that the baby's head is down, the bottom is on the left, and the feet and knees are on the right.

Ever since that ultrasound, I have noticed that the baby's booty is poking out all. the. time! There's booty on the left, and booty in the middle. There's booty in the morning and at night.

I usually just place my hand over our baby's sweet little booty and pat it gently because I can imagine our little one trying to get comfortable in the decreasing space of my belly.

The baby moved so much the other day that I started having Braxton Hicks contractions (read: cramps) and really bad round ligament pains (which I still have). Every time the baby moved, I'd get a cramp that lasted about 30 seconds. I finally learned how to breathe through those 30 seconds, but that night was AWFUL!!!

I think the baby must be going through a little growth spurt which is why I'm feeling so much movement and having such bad ligament pains. My parents came over today and were able to feel the baby toot its booty up then move it away. They were both really excited and amused. Watching and feeling my belly move NEVER gets old... we could literally sit and watch it for hours.

Whenever I see our baby's bottom move around, one song and dance come to my mind... Its one of my all-time favorites (and was a special request at my wedding)!!! Enjoy!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Super Shower!!!

Today was our baby shower, and. it. was. FABULOUS!!!!!


It was everything I wanted and more! Jason's Deli catering, wings from Xpress wings (around the corner from our house), and cakes made by Mrs. Poss (the lady who made our wedding cake).

We had a little over 100 people come, and most of the food was eaten. Whatever wasn't eaten was sent home with some of my fella friends because we have no desire to eat wings for an entire week.

We got everything we wanted and more, and we saw friends we hadn't seen in years.

Aside from my sore hips and lower back, it was literally one of the best days ever!!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Names

My husband is in the process of selecting a boy name I don't really like, and I have no choice but to accept it because I relinquished my rights to pick the name during a moment of frustration.

That is all.

And Then There Were SIX!!!

I am a teacher at a school with a lot of young teachers. As a matter of fact, we're a young school with a lot of young staff. It is only expected that a young staff would have a lot of happy life changes.

Last year, our school celebrated about four new babies and two marriages. This year, we're celebrating three engagements and... SIX new babies (well, actually 7 if you count the male orchestra teacher)!!! We just found out that there is another pregnant teacher due in the spring!!! How exciting!!!

I think we should put a stork on the door of each pregnant teacher's classroom. There'd be storks everywhere!!! I'm sooooo excited!!!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Cry, Cry Baby

For the last two weeks, I have been searching for the perfect outfit for my baby shower. Literally... searching.

I finally decided to order a tunic dress that I thought was perfect. Until it arrived at my house, that is. I put on the dress and noticed that there was a black smudge on the right shoulder and a little nik on the chest. I knew I couldn't wear it... not after having paid the price I paid for it. I decided that it would go back asap, and I would find something else. Zack and I looked for something Friday evening at all the maternity stores around the mall and then stumbled upon some neat shirts at H&M. I would try them on the next day because the mall was about to close.

Well, my mother came to visit Saturday to help me do some things around the house. We went out to the mall to find me something to wear to the shower.

Long story short... The shirts at H&M looked like tents or did not fit, and we could find nothing else. I decided that we should leave the mall and try the maternity stores again. When I walked in and found nothing I liked, I could no longer control my hurt and disappointment.

I had a slight temper tantrum with the sales associates and my mother. We left.

When mom and I got in the car and she tried to calm me with her sweet optimism, I began crying and insisting that she did not understand, and that no one could understand. I ranted that everyone at the shower would look nicer than I and that none of the clothes in these (stupid) stores would not fit me because my torso is so short, and I don't have the typical pregnant body.

I cried behind the steering wheel until the front of my grey shirt was wet. Thank goodness my dad covers the leather seats in his car (the car we were driving) with towels. I pulled up to a Target parking space and tried to regain my composure.

My poor mother sat there in the passenger seat and looked at me sad that there was nothing she could do to help. I felt so bad that she was hurt, but I could NOT stop crying.

Eventually, wee got back to my house, and I apologized for being such a baby. She reassured me that I would be pretty no matter what I wore, and that she was sorry for not being able to help. She left about an hour later, and I was sad because I wanted her to stay. I felt like I had ruined our time together.

Later, Zack convinced me to get on the computer to find something to wear. At that time, my mom called and gave me a "mother's pep rally", and of course, I started crying again.

Afterwards and with Zack's help, I mustered up another round of mall energy, and Zack and I went back out to the mall to find something for me to wear.

It was a really... REALLY... long day, but I finally found something to wear.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Heartburn!

"Adrenaline rushing in my body
Over powered I just can't fight it.
Doesn't matter how I keep on trying
I can't deny I've got this heartburn
Burning in my soul (heart burn)
Call the fire department (oh ,heartburn)
It's out of control (heartburn)
Ooooooh"
- "Heartburt" by Alicia Keys

So..... I have developed THE WORST heartburn in my last trimester. I thought I was home free when speaking to a friend who got it earlier than I did, but I (obviously) spoke too soon. In the last week or so, I've had to sleep sitting up on the sofa at least twice because of indigestion.

The worst time was Friday night. Zack made meatloaf the day before, and we both thought it'd be an awesome idea to have meatloaf sandwiches for dinner Friday night. (side note* I had to wake up early on Saturday morning to be on time for an event and then spend the day doing baby shower stuff with my mom)

After eating the sandwich, I felt great however things took a bad turn around 11pm. I woke up and realized that every organ north of my... well, nevermind because my organs are all mumble jumbled right now. Every organ in my body was on fire.

I decided to go downstairs and sleep on the sofa. I rummaged through the cabinets hoping to find Tums or anything, but I had no luck. Zack had used ALL the lemon juice in some tea he made. There was nothing. NOTHING!!! So, I sat there on the sofa and suffered through it all.

I find now that almost everything gives me heartburn: orange juice, red sauce, fried chicken, and beef. I am comfortable eating very neutral foods like oatmeal, fish, and veggies... *sigh*

Pushing My Button


So far, I haven't gotten the popped belly button I wanted so badly, but it is flat now. The baby is pushing my button... literally.

Lately, my button has gotten sore, and I have to shift my weight when lying down because it stretches and hurts. There are also times that my button hurts depending on how the baby is positioned. It is almost like the baby places its little hand on my button and pushes out on it in order to get comfortable. At that time, my button will protrude at the top and look like a slight outtie.

It really is interesting!

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Third Trimester Breakdown

I started my third trimester last Wednesday, and I felt great... because of how fantastic I was feeling, I totally had plans to get work done this past weekend...

I went to my high school homecoming (briefly) on Friday and went right to bed at 10pm so that I could get up early to get housework done.

I woke up Saturday, Zack got breakfast from Waffle House, I watched the recording of Project Runway, and it was all hill down there. For the next two days, my body went through a breakdown.

It got so bad on Saturday that I could not eat, and I called Zack because I was in so much abdominal pain. When he got home, I started crying because I didn't know what else to do. I had tried walking around and doing cat stretches, but nothing would help.

The pain moved from my abs, to my sides, to my back, to somewhere internally, and then it repeated. My breathing is shallow because it hurts to breathe. I'm just short of having an asthma attack when I walk up the stairs.

The pain was increased if the baby kicked or moved. Feeling a head in my rib cage and a foot in my lower ab is really not my idea of bonding with the baby.

Long story short... I got a grand total of six hours of sleep in the last two nights because I have been so uncomfortable. I sleep propped up on the sofa with tons of pillows. The television keeps me company. I really wish we had one of those sectional sofas where one of the seats lets out like a lazy boy. That would be awesome!

I've concluded that my short torso is not the optimal growth environment for a baby... theres nowhere to go but into my rib cage and diaphragm.

I hope this kid is comfortable snuggling up to my ribs because I'm suffering over here!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Hand Me Downs


Sometime last week, I walked back to my desk after a meeting and found a sweet surprise...
My baby's first hand me downs (first clothes ever)!!!

These are so special because little OG wore them; then they were handed down to Claire Bear... and now, my kid gets to wear them! The deal is that I will hand them down to another teacher so that her child can wear them.

My fave is the one that says "I love hugs" because I can't wait to hold and hug our sweet baby!

YAY for hand-me-downs!!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Natural Woman

I've never been the one for personal upkeep, and I have gotten worse during pregnancy. Everything south of my body's equator looks like a forest. I mean seriously, it looks like I've never seen (or heard of, for that matter) a razor. On a more positive note, however, I have been relatively good about shaving my pits.

Anywho... once I noticed that the growth of my body hair had slowed, I went from being lazy to absolutely unresponsive to and unmoved by what was going on below my belly button. And plus... I can't even see whats going on with my "hoo haa" without the aid of a mirror- no matter how much I bend over to look.

Last week, I really wanted to wear a shin length dress, so I shaved my legs up to the knee. I figured I was good until two days later when I decided to wear a knee length skirt. I was sitting in a chair during one of my classes when I noticed that my legs below the knees looked like a lady while my knees and the few inches you could see above looked like they belonged to a 30 year old line backer named "Bruce". I tugged at that darned skirt until it nearly pulled from under the belly band that was holding it up. I don't think anyone else noticed, but seeing my knees embarrassed me something awful... but I still haven't shaved my full legs. I supposed I'll be wearing pants from here on out. *shrug*

And that poor hoo haa of mine... I literally had to take a chain saw to it because using a razor would've been like cutting down a forest with a butter knife.

I thought about going to get things waxed but then I remembered the torture of my first and only time... I decided that I should look especially nice for my soon to be husband, so I used a gift card to a really nice spa that I received as a shower gift right before I went to the wedding rehearsal the day before the wedding. The atmosphere was super nice, and I even bumped into a local celebrity as he dropped his wife off. The lady lead me through the dimly lit (two candles from being pitch black) hallway into a private room. I followed her instructions and got prepared for the waxing. Everything after that was torture. She concluded the visit with "It hurts less the more you come"...

Long story short, baby powder was my best friend, and I didn't wear underwear until two days later. So... that was that for the surprise (and extremely cute) "I heart Zack" panties I'd planned on wearing on our wedding night... Thank goodness all we did at the hotel that night was order room service and pluck off all my eyelashes!

Dinner (or something like it)

This is what I ate for dinner last Sunday...


This decision came after meeting some friends at the Cali Pizza Kitchen and being hella disappointed in the Apple Crisp. This "crisp" was totally lacking and was NOTHING like the real crisp they used to make for us down at Mercer. Literally, I'm like an apple crisp expert after having eaten it for FOUR years (with icecream) while I was in college. The CPK's "crisp" was more like mushy crap atop some half baked apples. I need at least an inch and a half of real, warm, break-your-teeth, crunchiness and an inch of perfectly baked apples.

Anyway, I got home craving strawberries and cheesecake ice cream from Brusters. After trying to talk myself out of it, Zack and I jumped up and got what I really wanted. I got to the server and asked if they had any cheesecake ice cream (since its not on the menu), and he says.........

"THAT MUST BE REALLY POPULAR. WE JUST RAN OUT ABOUT AN HOUR AGO."
(side note: it had been raining all day!)

My reaction was as though he'd told me I grew a second nose. I told him that I suppose I'll have to start calling in advance so that they'll save me a hefty scoop.

After stressing over the menu, I decided to go with the plain vanilla in a waffle bowl and drizzle it with the yummy strawberries. Due to my charm *wink*, the guy gave me a HUGE "single" scoop and tons of strawberries. My order dwarfed Zack's measly scoop of turtle. Being pregnant definitely has its benefits! I'm sure Zack was totally!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Hibernation

My body literally feels like it is going into hibernation mode. I left work with all intentions of going to the gym at about 6 or 7 o'clock but...

Zack called and informed me that he wanted fried chicken from Publix. I got ill just thinking about eating the fried chicken but I got t anyway. Sometime in between getting my bags at the register and walking to my car, I began to feel like crap. By the time I got home, I barely wanted to get out the car (those darned seats in my car have all of a sudden become way to close to the ground). I sat waiting (and hoping) Zack would come to the door and help me into the house. Luckily, he met me at the door and carried the food.

I explained how i felt and that I didn't know if the feeling of discomfort was from the baby spinning around, my belly going the
through a growth spurt, or horrible gas. Long story short... My body felt like it was fighting itself, and my belly was so tight and heavy that it felt like it was going to fall off my torso. My body's reaction to this???

HIBERNATE!

There is no way to get comfortable, so I'm just gonna go to sleep.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Battle of the Sexes

Many of my coworkers are pregnant and due this school year. Seriously, based on the number of women at my school who are pregnant, you'd think we all made some kind of pregnancy pact. One baby was born last fall, one last May, another this past summer, and there is a baby due every month from November to April (except December). I suppose that's what happens when working with a bunch of young women.

So far, little baby girls are dominating. The ratio is about 2 girls to 1 boy... Which is probably the national average, but that is totally besides the point... The point is that it really seems like there are way more girls than boys.

Since I'm not finding out the sex of my baby, I'm trying to predict the sex of my kid based on the sexes of my friends' babies (instead of a more scientific method like coordinating my ovulation and sex dates).

See... TJ has a one year old son, AC has a girl, KC has a girl, SR is having a girl, and KG is having a girl... KH is the only one in a year to have a boy as far as we know because we don't yet know what HV and I are having.

So, with that information, I'm declaring my baby a boy... Well, at least this week I am.

Because I don't want TJ's and KH's sons to get all the attention of the pretty little girls!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The State of Exercise

I haven't been to the gym in about a week and a half. Not because I didn't want to go, but because I just didn't have the energy after such long and busy days.

I was resolved to going today for sure! What else would I be doing on a Saturday besides lying in the bed?

So...

I finally got up the "umph" to go around 11am, and this is how it went....

As soon as I walk into the gym, I run into my old trainer who just so happens to be standing and talking (loudly) at the front desk. He turns and sees me then LOUDLY welcomes me to the gym because he hasn't seen me "in 2 years."

I lower my voice so that he could get the hint that he is way too loud, but my efforts fail. He proceeds to ask me how I've been feeling then asks, "Are you menstrating?"

The girl behind the counter and I look at my obviously pregnant belly, and I say "Menstrating is definitely what I'm NOT doing." The girl laughs, and I frown.

He continues to correct what he meant to say but never quite gets it right... he went from menstrating to ovulating to dialating, to something else. I tuned out and interrupted his ramblings by asking questions about him. As he spoke, I inched away from him... but that resulted in him getting louder so that everyone could hear him.

At this point, I'm almost away!

I turn my back to walk away and almost made it, but not before he began belting out a verse from a John Legend song.

I hurry away... not looking back.

I make it to the treadmill and set my phone to play Beyonce... because B-Day is my ultimate workout album. The plan is to start slow and gradually increase until I'm at a 3.7... nothing new, nothing hard.

As I increase the speed to 3.0, I realize that my baby is either turning his/her position or has decided to walk with me... on the right side of my rib cage. The feeling is instantly uncomfortable and slightly painful.

I increase the speed to 3.3, and after about 45 seconds, I realize that my belly is going to jump off my torso and roll away, so I slow down.

Long story short... I had to press my palm into the right side of my belly to keep my comfort level decent, and I could not go faster than 2.5 (which is the equivalent to a walk in the park). I forced myself to go two miles, and that took 45 minutes.

I don't know if I've just gotten lazy, if I have painful gas throughout my stomach, or if my 'ear of corn' sized baby is running out of free space. But whatever it is, I don't think exercising is gonna get any easier.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Whats in a Name?

I'm not quite sure of the answer to that question, but I do know that my husband and I are having a tough time coming up with boy names.

If we have a little princess, her name will be easy... Zoe Marie. The "Z" is in honor of Zack, and "Marie" is my mother's middle name. I adore the name "Marie" because it is so feminine and delicate... and doesn't hurt that the woman I love most in the world bears the name. It was a given that my daughter would be given that name.

Zack likes the name "Lola". I'm not crazy about it, but I don't hate it either. If we have a daughter, and I look into her face and see a "Lola" and not a "Zoe"... "Lola Marie" she will be.

*sigh*

But those darned boy names are KILLING me.....

Zack and I have totally opposite ideas on what are considered good, strong boy names.

My first pick is "Trevor"... I LOVE that name!!! As a matter of fact, there was this beautiful little boy in one of my classes with the name. He had the prettiest chocolate skin and he was as cute as a button! I would want my son to be like him. Another good thing about the name is that it is not common. Of all the students I've come across in these four years of teaching, I've only come across ONE "Trevor"...

I also like the following names: Tristan, Torion (my husband's middle name), Michael, Landon, and Cooper.

My husband doesn't like any of these. On his list, he has written names such as Brice, Cameron, Riley, Andrew, and Zachary.

I don't care for ANY of these as I have students with these names... and not just one student, but at least two (or three) students I know have these names.

I never knew that naming a child would be this difficult!!! Seriously! Its slightly torturous.

I might just grin and bear whatever name my husband comes up with... that way, if our kid happens not to like his name, I can proudly say, "Well, your dad named you! I would've given you a much cooler name."

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Slightly Off Topic

So... i have a few friends I've been "close" with for a very long time. No, we don't talk on a regular basis or see each other more than twice a year, but we still consider ourselves good friends.

Well, today... I find out that the one I've been friends with since the age of eleven and who was the maid of honor in my wedding has moved or is moving to New York (like, today).

I got no phone call. No text message. No email.

I found out through her status update on Facebook!!! Based on how other people were responding, she must've told them weeks ago.

WTF!!! WTfreakinF!!!!!

I also sent this chick a text message of my baby's sonogram the morning I got it, and she hasn't called or returned the text yet. That was over a week ago.

Is this anything new? No! She constantly and has always done things like this but insists that I shouldn't take it personally.

Well, today is a new day. I don't know if its the hormones or simply being fed up with being treated like a stranger, but I'm totally over it.

I tend to treat my friendships like romantic relationships. I'm fiercely loyal and will take a lot of crap, but I know when its time to move on. And now, with this relationship, it is time to move on.

I understand that our lives and decisions have taken us on different paths, but DAMN!

She can definitely consider this relationship over... no invite to the baby shower. No call when the baby is born. No answering anymore of her calls. No nothing. No more listening to her whiny ass act like I'm over reacting to her treating me this way. NO MORE because I'm effing over it!

And funny thing... I'm so sure she won't know how I feel until someone else tells her because this chick has NEVER read my blog!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

To Be Like God



We had our first ultrasound yesterday, and it was amazing! Even though I complained about not having one sooner, I think I was probably more amazing to see after waiting five months. You could actually see that it was a baby- with a head, a heart, a stomach, a brain, and a nose!

While sitting in the lobby waiting to be called, I felt and noticed my stomach move ever so slightly. The baby was kicking me (or possibly had the hiccups). I told Zack so that he could see it, but surely enough, he wasn't able to.

Then, we were called to the back and met the lady doing the ultrasound. I'll admit that I wasn't actually uber excited about the ultrasound, but I totally began to feel the "realness" when she turned out the lights and lubed my belly up with (surprisingly) warm jelly.

I became an absolute geek! This is my reaction:

Me: Zack! Zack, come stand next to me! Come now! You can't see it over there!
Z: Steph, I can see it from here.
Me: You're supposed to stand over here by my head! Come look at this screen!
Z: ok (hands in pocket, probably nervous)
Me: Are you excited?! I am! I didn't think I would be, but I am right now! I didn't get excited until she turned off the lights!
Z: (still looking at screen)
Me: Are you gonna cry?! I'm so excited!
Tech: (begins ultrasound) There you go!
Me: OMG!!! Zack, do you see your kid?!?! Look at that kid!!! Thats his head! Look at his belly!!! This is crazy!!!
Zack: (smiling)
Me: This is freakin crazy!

Just in case you didn't know this about me, I tend to talk a lot and very fast when I'm nervous or excited. There really is no middle ground... just "a lot and fast".

The baby opened and closed its mouth the entire time and also stuck its tongue out!!! Seriously, you could see his/her little baby tongue come out of its mouth and go back inside!!! Then his/her little hand covered its heart and made it look like s/he was saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

I will say that this ultrasound was THE MOST amazing experience EVER!!! To be able to see something that God has allowed my husband and I to create is probably the most fun I've ever had. To create something so unique and to know that it is now YOUR responsibility to care for it. To love something you don't even know yet so very much. I bet this is the closest feeling to being God and to know how He feels of us.

It truly is amazing!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Little Things

I was in the shower the other day looking at how my body has changed in these last 20 weeks.

I can no longer see my "hoo haa" without bending down and being intentional about it. My feet are slowly starting to be eclipsed by my growing belly. That dark line that has a technical name I cannot remember at this time is getting darker and more visible from my bra line down to the goods.

Of all these things, I am most excited about something else that is changing...

Can you think of it?????

I'll give you a minute...

I was washing my belly and noticed...

that my belly button is beginning to widen out and become shallow. I'm expecting my innie, like so many other pregnant bellies, to become an outtie...

Now, this may not seem like much to some people... maybe even you.

But I've spent a good portion of my life trying to figure out how in the heck I'm supposed to clean out ALL the lint in my belly button. Don't get me wrong... I clean it all the time. Sometimes with a q-tip and alcohol. But it never gets fully clean because there are years of gunk stashed in all those little folds of skin.

With this growing belly, I'm TOTALLY looking forward to my pregnant outtie so that I can clean the crap out of it and marvel at how wonderfully clean it looks! I'll practically have a brand new belly button when all this is over with! BRAND NEW!!!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

20 weeks and counting

Last week we reached 20 weeks... And some of the 20 week milestones.

For example, for the first time in my pregnancy I look in the mirror, and I look pregnant.

I have also started getting (cue scary music intro here...).....

Leg cramps during the night!

Now, I'm no stranger to Charlie horses. I would catch dreadful ones in my leg and butt muscles after marching in parades or football games in high school. I would scream out for my dad, I'd hear him get up, put on his houseshoes and slosh down the hall and into my room to massage out the cramp. My body would be locked up in pain as though I'd been electrocuted. The pain would eventually go away, and daddy and his house shoes would slosh back to his room.

Now... Fastforward ten years...

I'm pregnant, uncomfortable, and catch a cramp in my leg. I moan so that my husband, who sleeps inches away, will wake up and help me. Nothing happens, so I massage my own cramp and go back to sleep. I ask the husband that morning why he didn't wake to help me, and he replies that he thought I was having a bad dream... Really, a bad dream??? WTF!

The next night, I catch a cramp and decide to tell him, "Zack, I have a cramp in my right leg. Will you help me?"

This guy wakes up (probably in a dream state) and massages my LEFT leg! I tell him to forget about it because I could handle it by myself. He turns over and goes back to sleep.

I guess my dad had me spoiled.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Move it Move it

I'm far enough along in my pregnancy to feel the baby move at least once a day. The movements aren't major so that I can see a foot or anything, but I am at the point where I can definitely feel this kid doing the Electric Slide on my bladder.

I like the feeling, but it catches me off guard sometimes (read: most times). At the end of school yesterday, this kid was totally having a jam session for about an 30 minutes. The first song to come to my mind during our little one's dance session was "Move it Move it" from Madagascar.

Actually, he/she is moving right this moment, and I totally have the urge to play the song and dance with him/her. I want my kid to be the one who gets up at the party and dances the entire time, even if he/she is like Zack or me and has no rhythm at all. Hopefully, all this moving is an indicator my kid becoming a fantastic popper and locker!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I Love This Way...

"We do what we do and we do what we live. I love this way cause I got it as a kid."
- "I Want You" by Common

I LOVE Common! Seriously, he can do no wrong. His album "Like Water for Chocolate" is what made me a fan.

I was listening to "I Want You", and the lyrics above always stick with me. I can totally relate because I am very much a lover. I love everyone and everything. And I don't simply love, my love is always deep. I love people forever. No matter what. I feel in my heart that all people deserved to be loved with everything I have. Chances are... If I've met you, I love you very much.

I love this way because I got the same love as a child. I had a very happy life with happy parents, happy friends, and a happy family. At no point in my childhood (or life) do I remember not being loved.

My parents spent a ton of time with me and are my very favorite people in the entire world. I remember being tucked into bed every night as a small child, waking up to a fabulous breakfast on the weekends, joining my parents in their bed to watch late night shows, playing cards all night with my dad to bring in the New Year, and a whole bunch of fun stuff.

I'm going to totally love my kid the way my parents love me. I'm going to sing him/her off to bed and make sure he/she is tucked in tightly so that "the bed bugs don't bite". I want my kid to grow up not being afraid to love people and to love these people with the same love he/she received from me and Zack.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Some Kind of Exhausted

I had a blast at work today! There was a PTA luncheon, and I was able to run around the school catching up with all my friends. Some got married, some went on fabulous trips, and some are also expecting their own bundles of joy!

Did I get any work done??? Depends on how you look at it.

I straightened my desk by throwing everything in the drawers (which eventually got jammed because of all my crap), wrote dates on the first week of my planner, turned in some paperwork, put some stuff in a cabinet, emailed someone about books, printed the syllabus, and.....

yeah, that was pretty much it. I can't think of anything else.

I spent all my time talking and laughing and being unproductive... but who cares! Everything will get done in a week or so.

And even though I didn't get much done, I am HELLA exhausted!!! Like... "crawl on the floor and lay there with no socks on, not caring who walks over you" tired.

I went to the Walmart after work in order to get some things for my room, and I literally wanted to sprawl out in the middle of a quiet isle and dare someone to say something. I finally got what I needed, had it loaded in my car, and drove home. But not before I was forced to give the cashier woman the stank eye for being unnecessarily slow.

My body pillow will definitely be getting some action tonight! I'm gonna be snuggled all up against it.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Cabin Fever

I'm SOOOOOOOO ready to go to work!!!!!

This house has never seemed smaller than right this minute. The stuff in it, as we get the baby's room prepared, is all over the place with no where to go. EVERYWHERE!!!

There's crap on the kitchen table, around the table, behind the sofa, in the upstairs hallway, crowding my precious (usually clean) guest room, sprawled along the walls of the baby's room... EVERYWHERE!!!

I shall mention that only about 15% of this stuff belongs to me because (you best believe) I'm not the one to hold on to old, musty, dry-rotting magazines for the expected (but unlikely) enjoyment of my descendants. As a matter of fact, I've thrown away any of my magazines that are dated before June 2010. I'm not throwing anyone in my house under the bus... but this random, unnecessary crap floating about the house IS NOT mine!!!

I gotta get to work in my own space so that I don't have to look at this... I gotta find a cure for this Cabin Fever!


I feel just like the green guy in this picture! I'm just short of throwing stuff out the window and I'm just waiting for someone to say something "wrong" to me or look at me funny! I'm gonna become a freakin' monster!!!!!

I can't wait to see new faces, hear the laughter and excitement from the children, see and talk to my co-workers, have something to do for longer than 2 hours... I just wanna go back!

NOW!!!!!

But unfortunately, I still have to wait until Thursday...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Just When I Was Over My Fear...

I realize that having a baby WILL put you in the projects.

I've always had this irrational fear that I'd end up living in the projects if I had a baby.

See... My dad used this lie to scare the crap out of me and keep me from having babies at a young age. Even after I graduated from grad school, began a career, got married, and bought a house, I was still afraid to come off birth control in order to have a baby.

After trying to conceive for a year and actually getting pregnant, I relaxed and started to believe that having a baby is cool.

Well... after having to spend all this up-front money to get prepared to bring a baby home, I'm starting to believe that there was some truth to my dad's story.

Get this:

Maternity clothes = $400
Mini Crib = $300
The travel system (stroller and carseat) = $220
Additional car seat base = $50
The glider = $250-$300
A bedding set for the mini-crib = $200
The bedding set and mattress for the cradle = $50
Outta pocket insurance estimate = $975!!!
Birthing classes = $200

Dude! We're gonna totally be in the projects before this is over!

But I will admit that having a baby is PRICELESS!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Can't Fight Cravings

I love food! Like... if I could marry food, I would. Actually, I married Zack because he cooked all the time and loves to eat like I do.

I just assumed that I would have the craziest cravings once I got pregnant, but I have not. I don't crave pickles and ice cream, peanut butter and pork chops, or anything else gross sounding...

But even still... every once in a while, I get the urge to eat something particular.

A few weeks ago, I craved Popeyes chicken... a two piece (white) spicy with cajon rice and a biscuit with honey. The lady at the drive through barely asked me what I wanted before I yelled my order into the drive through box. It took every ounce of will power within me to keep from tearing into the chicken box on the way back to the house. Needless to say... once I sat down in front of the tv and set my meal up on the tv tray, I became a lioness feasting after a kill.

Lately, I've been totally on a Pizza Hut kick. I ask Zack every day if he wants a pizza from the hut, and everyday he says "no". I was telling my mother how he felt, and then I mentioned that I'd be cool with a bowl of marinara sauce and some pepperonis to dip in it.

Zack kept urging me to eat veggies but my body doesn't want them. So... because he refused to eat pizza with me, I went with a good friend of mine who was more than happy to indulge in my need for marinara sauce.

When we got to the Pizza Hut buffet, we indulged in all kinds of pizza, and I was sure to drizzle my slices with EXTRA marinara sauce...

Talk about heaven!!!!!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Improvising


This is what happens when your pants are too tight to button or zip and its too hot outside to wear the belly band. I got the idea from a supervisor at work who said she used to loop a rubber band around the button and button hole. I upgraded the idea to use a elastic hair band.

Its actually pretty comfortable!

P.S. Please excuse the partial view of my bra :-S

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Avocado!

Today, at 15 weeks and 1 day, our baby is an AVOCADO!

I'll admit that I'm not a huge fan of avocados because they're oily and flavorless, and to be honest, I had never heard of or seen avocados until I was grown and out of grad school. I don't think people in the hood do too much cooking with them... I doubt the local grocery stores sell them in East Point.

Either way, I feel like I have an avocado tucked away in my stomach... I'm uncomfortable sleeping or lying on my stomach, and I can't eat as fast or as much as I did during the first trimester.

I welcome it because some day soon we'll be a watermelon!

Sometimes They Come Back

I generally have "good" skin. I don't usually get breakouts, nor does my skin react to different chemicals and stuff. I typically wash my face with Biore face scrub once every week or two but can pretty much get away with splashing my face with water.

I didn't even have many breakouts as a teenager, and when I did, it was only one pimple on the side of my nose or in the middle of my forehead. I treated those pimples with toothpaste in order to make them dry up and go away.

But now???


My forehead is constantly broken out with little bumps that are sensitive to sweat, sun, and my beloved Biore face scrub. If I'm outside for more than 30 minutes and start sweating, my face feels like its on fire.

These hormones have my face screwed up!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Who Likes Surprises?

Not me... generally...

But we've decided to keep the baby's sex a surprise. The decision to do so has really been like a playground see-saw with Zack on one side and me on the other.

Initially, Zack was all about keeping the sex a surprise until delivery, but I was all like, "But people won't know what to get us for the shower!"

Then... Zack was like, "I can't wait to find out what we're having so that we can paint the baby's room and start buying stuff!"... I, at the time, was indifferent and feeling a little under pressure at the fact that we were actually gonna have a baby.

A few weeks after that, I really started feeling that we should keep it a surprise. I talked to Zack about it, and he was indifferent.

Then finally.....

We talked about it, and I remembered the argument given by a co-worker who was keeping her baby's sex a surprise.

IF PEOPLE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE HAVING, THEY'LL ALL GET YOU GENDER SPECIFIC CLOTHING AND TOYS, AND YOU WON'T HAVE ANY OF THE THINGS YOU ACTUALLY NEED FOR A BABY. AND... YOU'LL BE SO SUPER EXCITED DURING DELIVERY TO GET YOUR BABY OUT TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU'RE HAVING!

Because the truth is, we want to get gifts we can actually use like bottles, onesies for different stages, and other stuff, and I'll need all the motivation I can get to deal with labor (because, truthfully, I don't even handle cramps very well)

I'm sure I'll purchase plenty of clothes after the baby is born, and even more clothes will be given to us by grandparents and family.

So, If you like surprises... the sex of our kid will definitely be one to enjoy!!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Screw You, RH!!!

Yeah... How about Restoration Hardware called me yesterday evening, not long after my post about the crib, to tell me that the crib was sold out and that they weren't going to charge me for it...

Talk about PISSED!!!!!

Patrick wakes me up out my nap to apologize and tell me that they didn't have my beloved crib. In order to keep from raging out on this poor sale/customer service rep, I told him to cancel the entire order and to have a nice evening.

I've been searching online for a comparable crib but haven't even come close to the one I loved and I REFUSE to pay $1300 for the only other Expresso colored crib at RH...

So...

SCREW YOU, RH!!!! Screw you for your inability to update your website in a timely enough manner to reflect what you actually have in stock! Screw you for sending me a confirmation email for the crib then calling me three days later to tell me you don't have it. Screw you for forcing me to buy something I don't want!!!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Big Purchase

We ordered the baby's crib!!! We got it on Clearance!!!!!!!!! AND... It will continue to grow with our kid until he or she moves out!!!!



The crib converts to a toddler bed and then converts again into a headboard for a twin or full bed! We love it and can't wait for it to arrive!!!

So long... For now...

So long (for now) to my dreams of having Janet Jackson's abs... *sad face*

The other day, I had scheduled to tutor a student, and as I got dressed, I realized that all... ALL of my jeans are tight in the butt and unbuttonable in the waist. I ended up wearing a pair of pants and looping a rubberband around the button and button hole in order to hold them up. I completed the look with a long shirt.

Just yesterday, I was getting ready for a get together at my neighbor's home, and nothing fit... Not even the beautiful gray silk Ann Taylor skirt I bought two months ago on a mini shopping spree. Oh, I was so hurt because I'd just said, "I will wear this skirt today so that I can at least say that I wore it once."

But nope! I squeezed the skirt over my hips and cussed loudly when I realized that wearing that skirt would become a tragedy.

So what do we do???

Zack and I gather up our garage sale money and attempt to go on a maternity clothes shopping spree...

Long story short... We went to three stores and came home with a pair of khakis, two pairs of jeans, and 4 t-shirts. The selections were piss poor at best! I never knew that the maternity sections at Target, Kohls, and Old Navy were so crappy, but they are!

We bought a "belly band" and will hope for the best... we're also gonna do some shopping online which definitely seems to be the way to go.

I look in the mirror at myself, and although I don't see myself as fat, I do somewhat lament over the fact that I won't have the opportunity to get dancer's abs until the Spring... Zack however, oogles over the fact that my stomach is growing, and he literally lights up like a Christmas tree over the sight. He's now to the point that he rubs my stomach and kisses it... it is horribly cute!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

If You Were Mine

Dear little kid at the Drs office,

I see you! I hear your little voice! I'm watching you and you know that. As a matter of fact, I've been giving you the stank eye ever since you came hollering talking and playing through the door. Into an office that is peaceful and dim and relaxing.

I've watched you look for your "aldigader" and climb the wall at the sign in desk. I've even watched you spin in circles holding a bag of chips just to fall to the floor and make a mess. Oh, how I wish you were mine!

You're loud and busy-bodied... And I can just imagine your mother seeking a diagnosis of ADHD so that you'll receive special treatment when you're one day attending my class. And I already know the frustration I'll (or some other unfortunate teacher) will have trying to get you to do your homework. I know your mom will make all kinds of excuses for you when all it takes is something right now... While you're three. I wish you were mine... Right this moment.

You're climbing on everything and people are laughing at you... No wait... They're laughing and judging your incompetent mother. And me? I'm not laughing because I don't think it is funny or cute. I just want to say to your mother, "Hey!!! Hey lady with the wild child!!! You need to straighten him out and make him sit down and shut up!" but I won't do that because I'm only here for a few minutes and don't want to have to "show out" if your mother acts a fool like you.

But I tell you what... I wish you were mine because I would sit you down in a chair and whisper firmly in your ear that "you better sit your tail down RIGHT NOW in a chair and close your mouth or else we're gonna take a trip to the lady's room," and if you fail to comply, I'd scoop you up and take you there and introduce your backside to a belt. Afterwards, I would explain why punishment was handed down, explain what will happen if you still don't get yourself together, tell you to clear up your face, and walk back into the waiting room... quietly.

Why would I spank you? Because my mother and father did it to me and I was always a good kid. I don't see why it wouldn't work for you! But anyway...

Since you're not mine, I'll just keep giving you the stank eye and find comfort in the fact that my kid will know better.

Sincerely,

The lady sitting two seats over

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

On this Eve...

I can't freakin believe that this day is the eve of our 2nd trimester... Yes! We've already completed 12 weeks of a smooth pregnancy. The only issue I have is waking up feeling like I haven't eaten in three days, visiting the toilet three times in the middle of every night, and extreme fatigue (which I believe has now turned into laziness- but who cares).

My husband has gone into super overdrive mode and has started preparing the house for a baby by painting and rearranging things and getting rid of things (he was previously attached to) for our upcoming garage sale. He is shocking the crap out of me! Seriously, he is getting rid of the DVD stand and all the DVDs!!! Now, I just gotta work on getting him to let go of the VHS tapes in the upstairs closet.

I haven't been cursed by the evil morning sickness witch nor have I been constipated like so many women. I eat what I want, and I sleep all day.... Life is great!

I can even feel the baby's (who is now about three inches long and about the size of a peach) movements every once in a while. It doesn't feel like anything really... It doesn't feel like gas or anything else related to digestion. It happens right above the pelvic bone and close to the front of my belly. I first felt it at tennis practice. We were doing drills and as I ran to the back of the line and stopped, it felt like some thing (not "something") bumped and slid across the front of my stomach. Then it stopped and happened again for like two seconds. The best way to describe it is to say that it is like the feeling you get in your stomach after going over the first drop of a roller coaster. If you sneeze or aren't paying attention, you'll miss it. I started looking for it after our last doctor's visit. She told me that I could probably feel movement but would overlook it because this is my first pregnancy and would not know what the feeling was.

Even though we're entering the 2nd trimester, I don't have the urge to post news of the pregnancy (although I thought I would) on Facebook and probably won't until 20 weeks (sometime in September). We've started taking belly pictures... we'll we've taken two. Some people look at me (generally family) and will say that I have a bump, but really... any real change in my body can be attributed to me eating hamburgers and fries. My stomach, however, has pudged out just an itty bitty bit primarily because my uterus has moved up and little.

On this eve of our second trimester, I still can't really believe we're pregnant, and that is probably due to the fact that we don't exactly look pregnant yet. It is still pretty amazing that there are two heartbeats within my body and that my body is creating another person with fingers, toes, a nose, and a heart. It really is nothing short of a miracle.

So... We're 12 weeks down with 28 more!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Swoosh Swoosh Swoosh

Swoosh Swoosh Swoosh... thats the sound of our baby's little heartbeat.

We had an OB appointment, and this was the first time we got to hear the heartbeat. It was nothing short of amazing! I didn't cry and neither did Zack... we kinda just sat there grinning like little kids. That might have been because it took a few minutes to find it. Chasing the heartbeat was like chasing around a gnat... you'll see it for a second and go for it, but then it disappears.

The doctor stated that the beat was so hard to find because the baby is so tiny at this stage and it moves around so much. We'll hear it better next time.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Slow and Steady

I found out that, evidently, headaches are symptoms of pregnancy.

How do I know that?

Because right now, at 3:27am, I am awake and dealing with one that I've had since yesterday at 4:00pm. Its not a migraine or anything, but it is a slow and steady, dull ache that trobs in my head.

I came downstairs to find and take Tylenol, but due to my habit of product loyalty, I was only able to find Aleve. *sad face*

So... I'm sprawled out on the sofa watching The Bride of Chucky. I can't even understand how these were ever scary... But in some strange reason, I get caught up and startled some times during the scenes. There is something about that darned doll that still freaks me out... Could you imagine your dolls or stuffed animals coming alive and being buther knife toting killers? Me either, but I would hope that I wouldn't be a punk and run.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Randomness...

I can't organize my thoughts right now because I have a lot running through my brain, so I'm gonna do bullet points.

- I just found out that I won't have an ultrasound to see my baby until weeks 18-20. I suppose they'll tell me if its a he or she at that time too, but I want to see it now!!! I don't understand why I have to wait. My next appt will be on Monday, and I'll almost be 12 weeks. I just assumed that I'd get to see the baby then since so many other ppl (probably an exaggeration) get to have those cute little ultrasound pics of their baby's profile on facebook. I'm disappointed but will deal with it. Instead of the ultrasound, we'll get to hear the baby's heartbeat... which is just as sweet.

- I'm addicted to watching Babies: Special Delivery on Discovery Health. I record it on the DVR every morning from 7:00-8:10am because I'm nearly addicted. They usually encounter the same types of problems, but sometimes they have crazy situations. I scare myself sometimes while watching it, but it is SUCH a good show!

- I'm so lazy these days! I seriously don't want to do anything... not even go to Homegoods! I'd rather lay around. It is bad!!! I try so hard to get up and do things but I get winded (read: lazy) and crash on the sofa. However, I did wash and fold a load of laundry yesterday... but the other three loads are sitting her staring me in the face.

- My husband is preparing to babyproof the house... yes, already... he asked me to go buy plug covers for the outlets so that we could get started... we're only 11 weeks.

- I'm more regular now than I was before we got pregnant, and that makes me very happy. There's nothing worse than being constipated, hungry, and tired. On many days, I get to go twice a day! I think its because I eat fruit all day, and I love to grub on cheese eggs and bacon in the morning.

- Zack has actually started painting around the house! The guy who wanted to keep the white walls is actually painting and is excited about it!!! Its just a continual reminder that God does answer prayers.

- I just dozed off...

- I watched Tupac Resurrection yesterday and thought it was awesome!!! I still can't believe that he died at only 25. I actually became a fan on his life's story.

- I can't stand bar-b-que sauce... it makes me gag, and I don't think anyone around me shouuld be allowed to eat it. I don't really care for cooked veggies either which is why I'm eatting a lot of fruit.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Weird Dreams

I've always had the most interesting dreams... even as a child. In my home growing up, my parents and I would eat breakfast over stories about crazy dreams. Well, it was more so just me and my mom, but nevertheless, we had some crazy dreams!

I remember my mother dreaming that some demented little child woke her up (in the dream) and stood at her doorway. As she looked at him, he turned to look in my bedroom and turned back to her and gave a devious smile. The child then went into my room. She stated that she woke up screaming because she felt like the child was really going into my room to hurt me. She calmed down when she realized it was just a dream.

In high school and during football season (I was in the marching band and was often exhausted) I dreamed that I was at school during the night, and a murderer was chasing me and my friends around the dark halls. Somehow I became separated from my friends and spent a good portion of the dream looking for them so that I could save them from the killer. As I walked around the "school", someone tapped me on the shoulder and asked what I was doing. Crying, I asked that person, "Where'd they go?! I can't find my friends!"......... My mother grabbed me by the shoulders and informed me that I was sleepwalking and that I needed to go back to bed. I snapped out of it, looked around the den, wiped my face, and went back to my room.

I've read in a book and in some other literature that pregnant women have crazy dreams. Although the dreams I've been having lately have not been any weirder than before, I have found that I dream almost every night. While I know that science will say the dreams are probably due to better REM sleep, I'd like to say that it is simply because I'm pregnant and tired as hell all the time.

Some time last week I dreamed that I Zack and I found out that we were pregnant with twins, and then the dream morphed (as they all seem to do), and I realized that the father of the twins was a guy I dated in college. The dream went on and someone asked about the status and circumstances surrounding why we weren't together, and when he gave some crazy answer, I started flipping out and screaming. The screaming turned into crying because Zack, the guy I was actually going out with and not yet married to, would not love me anymore. I cried that he would leave me and I'd be left alone. The dream was so awful, I woke up to go to the bathroom without having to empty my bladder. When I got back in the bed, I curled up close to Zack and cried.

Last night, I dreamed that some man my mother lived with (no, not my dad) was crazy abusive, and because of that, I ended up killing him. In the process of the dream, I killed this man, beat up my neighbor for not calling the police, somehow became the guardian of three children, and attempted to get me and these kids up to my house with no car and no money. The kids and I ended up standing at the stop sign at the end of my parents' street because we couldn't get to my house. The worst part of this dream was me begging and pleading my mother to come with me to my house because I was afraid the guy I'd killed had turned into a zombie or monster or something, and he would come back to kill her. It was awful!!!!

I totally don't mind dreaming, but I would prefer to have dreams about happy things like birthday cake and winning a trillion dollars!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

30 more...

We've hit the 10 week mark! Yippy!

I always thought that we'd take pictures of every week, but ummm..... no. Zack mentions it because we've both noticed the changes in my body, but I just don't feel like it. I'd much rather eat or take a nap.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Baby Bunch

I was invited it to lunch today. Initially, I was a little hesitant because I've become HELLA lazy, but I really wanted to see my friends and their babies.

When we all got there, it was really interesting to see us at different stages of motherhood: one the mother of a six month butterball of a blue-eyed baby, another he new mom of a cuddly month old sleepy ladybug, another 17 weeks preggers and just really starting to show, and then me... Bloated and hungry as hell.

Upon sitting down, I immediately ordered spinach dip.

I had so much fun talkin about our experiences and what to expect after baby is born. It feels like I'm joining some sort of mommy sisterhood!

Friday, June 4, 2010

You want yo cornbread???

Seriously... do you want it??? Because I'll eat it if you don't!!!

What about that little bit of hamburger you can't finish... your fries maybe???

I'm freakin' hungry ALL THE TIME!!!!! I always thought the whole thing about pregnant women eating all the time was a funny little joke, but NO!!!!!

I wake up hungry. I go to bed hungry. I need a snack after every meal.

I seriously eat every two hours. And not just a snack... I'm talking about... I EAT!!! If I don't eat, I feel like passing out and crawling into the floor. My head spins, my stomach churns and bubbles, I get hot, and I feel like crap!

As a matter of fact, I'm hungry right this moment, and I'm thinking of what I want to eat. I'm sure Zack isn't hungry yet because we just ate, but I've got to eat something...

*thinking of what is in the kitchen*

maybe chili.....

popcorn....

cheese toast.....

something... anything with peanut butter.....

Whatever it is... let me get up now and make it before Zack wakes from his nap to find me wasting away.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Sweet Husband

What time is it??? It is 5:22 am, and I've been up for an hour.

I tossed and turned due to being hella uncomfortable. I had to pee at least three times, my Dolly Parton boobs were sore, and those annoying azz cramps kept bothering me. I mean... I was crazy uncomfortable!!!

After getting back in the bed from the third bathroom trip, I sat there crying. Zack asked if I was alright and I told him that my stomach was cramping (nothing bad, just annoying) and hat I couldn't get comfortable.

Bless his heart...

He sat up and started rubbing my back... Which magically made the cramps disappear. He stayed up with me for about thirty minutes until I stopped wiping the tears off my face and he couldn't keep his eyes open.

I asked him why he stayed up, and he said, "I can't sleep if you don't feel good. I want to make sure you're alright."

The only thing that would've been sweeter is if he had gotten up and made me a cheese egg and bacon sandwich because I'm SOOOOO hungry!!!!!

He's such a great guy!


***update***

It is now 8:12am, and my sweet husband is up and on his way to pick up breakfast. What is he getting me??? A bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit!!!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Cry Baby

I've always been a cryer... As a matter of fact, I think I've already mentioned that in a previous post, so I won't waste time reminding you.

With this whole pregnancy thing, I've caught myself crying over the simplest things! For instance, I was at work talking to a fellow language arts teacher who I really adore. I mean seriously... There are some people who are nice and good, then there are those people who are pure goodness and light. This coworker is definitely the latter.

Well, we were standing in the hallway one morning talking with some other teachers when she mentioned that she was going to cook a week's dinner for a friend who was going through a really hard time. I wanted to tell her how wonderful I thought that was, but the compliment came out in tears and "Denise, you're just perfect! I mean really... You're perfect, and I just love you so much! Everyone loves you because you're awesome!"

Of course she looks at me in disbelief and smiles. She responds, "Well, I don't know about that but thank you. You're so sweet!"

I have tears rolling down my cheeks at this point and I say, "You're just so nice! Why am I crying?" I eventually walked away and went to my room.

I also had a weeping and wailing fit when Jin and Sun died on Lost. You talking about losing it?!?! I LOST it when they died. There was absolutely no consoling me. I fussed at the tv through my hyperventilating because I preferred to lose Sawyer and Kate. I must've cried for 20 minutes.

Just today, I was watching a movie I've seen a gatrillion times, Diary of a Mad Black Woman. When it got to the church scene at the end where he crackhead mother walks in singing, I found myself wiping tears from my cheeks. I think the last time I cried watching that movie was the very first time I saw it like five years ago.... But the way I was crying today, you'd have thought that today was my first time watchig it!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Deez

I was going to lunch with some friends, and I had some time to spare, so I went to a local shopping center. I went in Victoria's Secret to see If they had some cheap bras to accommodate my growing boobs. When I walked in, I was instantly drawn to the 2 for $32 rack. I picked up a set of 34C and walked to the counter.

For whatever reason, the sales lady asked me if I had been or needed to be fitted for a bra. I told her "no" and briefly explained why I was buying them. Her response... "you don't want these. These are for teenagers. You'll need a full coverage bra."

My reaction... Embarrassment but whatever.

She whips around from behind the counter and pulls out a measuring tape from thin air and measures me for a bra in like 30 seconds. When she was done, she announced that I would need a 36D and walked to the back section of the store.

She pulled out two bras from the drawer, handed them to me and explained why they'd be best for the next three or four months. When we got back to the counter, she explained how I should wear a bra all the time and move on to wearing sports bras after the pregnancy to keep the breasts from sagging and tearing irrepairable tissue that keeps the breasts perky.

She explained that that technique is what she used to keep her (very busty) double Ds from going south after she had her kid.

I purchased the bras thinking that I'd "grow" into them over the next few months... However, when I got home and tried them on, I quickly realized that I already fit a D cup!!!

So, my mom can totally add one or two bra shopping trips to the JCPenney outlet to her grandmother list!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

My Cup Runneth Over...

I have experienced many "symptoms" (if that is what they're called) of pregnancy.

The first was the constant need to pee like a race horse during the day and night. Then there was the constant garbage truck gas that never seemed to go away (but eventually did after several prayers to The Almighty). After that came the sinus pressure that turned into that horrible cough, and during that, I've developed thick spit and the need to swallow all the time in order to keep it from flying out of my mouth during conversations.

The worst of these symptoms is the feeling I get when I haven't eaten in two hours... I instantly (and our of NO WHERE) get crazy hungry then I get weak and nauseous and feel like I need to pass out. It only subsides like 30 minutes after I've eaten, and it happens all the time.

And through these last few weeks I have also developed fuller lips....... and fuller breasts.

I remember a time in high school when I wore a B cup and how excited I was that, in college, I grew into a small C. Then I remember how I was even more excited I was that my small Cs developed into a full C.

Now, with about 33 more weeks left in my pregnancy, I'm at a really full C. So full as a matter of fact, that I can see my C cups running over when I look at my profile in the mirror.

Zack had been saying for a few weeks that my boobs were getting bigger, but I would tell him that it was all in his imagination. I didn't notice how right he was until I put on one of my newer bras and had to keep adjusting it to make the double bubble at the top disappear.

At the rate they're growing, I wonder how big my boobs will be in December!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Dude, where are my lungs?!

Cough...
Ccccccough....
COOOOUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

I put another pillow behind my head and look at the clock thinking, "well, at least it will be time to get up soon!"

my eyes focus on the clock, and it reads 12:27am...

I'm disappointed.

I have been suffering from what I assume the doctor will diagnose as post nasal drip. I get a tickle in the back of my throat then I start to cough my lungs up. Currently, at 1:42am while I lie on the sofa, I think I coughed them up and left them upstairs under my nightstand.

I have coughed so much that all my upper body muscles are sore. Zack has demanded that I visit a doctor on Saturday... And right now is the first time I have actually agreed with him.

***12 hours later***

I stayed up all night coughing. When morning rolled around, I had planned on getting up and going to the doctor, but sure enough... I went to sleep after eating some wonderful pancakes Zack made. I have been sleep ever since. It is now two o'clock, and I can't even get out the bed because my body refuses to listen to my brain and will not get up. I am now resolved to simply staying in the bed and doing nothing until Monday.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Mother's Day and a week later...

I will start this blog with the ending... I finally set my ob/gyn appointment and went to it today.


Now, rewind to last Friday:

I woke up curious because I was a day late... yes, for my period.

I crawled out of bed after Zack went to the gym and rummaged through my bathroom cabinet for a pregnancy test. I went through the usual routine of peeing in the cup and inserting the stick... this was the result...


Sooo.... We're PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!

A WHOLE YEAR LATER!!!!!

We told our mothers on Mother's Day. I bought my mom a book for her to record her life and reactions to her first grandchild, and I got his mother a baby onesie that said "Its all good with Grandma."




My mom opened her gift first. She looked at the book, and at first, it didn't register with her. Then, she looked up at me and whispered, "Really?" then she repeated herself two more time with increasing volume until it was a scream, "REALLY, REALLY?!?!?!?!"

It was all hugs, tears, and smiles going on at our place... especially 30 seconds later when everyone else caught on.

Needless to say, my mom has already planned to have Merry Maids come to the house and clean the spare room (and rest of the house). My sister-in-law immediately went into planning a fabulous December baby shower by asking me how many people I would want to attend because the location depends on the numbers of attendees.

All-in-all, it was an amazing moment!

The plan is to keep it from being announced to the masses until late July when the second trimester rolls around... we'll see how that goes...

Well, today was my first OB appointment with my new doctor at the new doctor's office, and I loved it! As I walked onto the elevator to go to the 4th floor, I noticed that one of the doctors at the AWS office was holding the elevator door for me. He asked which floor I was going to, and I said "Four... You graduated from Mercer, right?"

I'm sure he was thinking, "Yeah, and you're a stalker", but he smiled and said that he had. I smiled and told him that him being a graduate of Mercer was one of the reasons I chose their office because I also graduated from Mercer (and that practically makes us family!).

I didn't chose him as my doctor, but I did chose Dr. Smith. A woman who is the mother of triplets and loves being an educator for women entering different life stages... Seriously, who better to be the doctor of a teacher than doctor who teaches???

While she viewed my cervix, I told her why I chose her as my doctor (because it makes the experience of having a stranger poke around in your womanly parts a little less uncomfortable). She stated that she went to college to be a math teacher and that it had been her dream, and that after talking with her mother (who is also a math teacher) she became side tracked and became a doctor. I had to correct her and let her know that NO ONE becomes side tracked and becomes a doctor... NO ONE!

Now, if she were like me, it would be a totally different story... I went to college with dreams of being a doctor, and then I was side tracked and failed (and dropped) chemistry... I later (after a career change) became a teacher. (side note: I adore being a teacher!)

Anyway, I totally love my new doctor and the office and their website! I think we'll have a great relationship!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

(Not So) Happy Anniversary!!!!!

So... because I don't usually keep up with dates and tracking for my period and such, I couldn't remember when exactly I stopped taking birth control. I just always assumed I stopped taking it at the end of last May, so in order to find out, I checked my claims information online through my insurance.

Yeah... so, I just saw that I actually stopped taking it at the end of April! Right now is exactly a year since I stopped taking birth control. This seriously sets a fire under my azz to go to the Gyno for another exam.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Fish Dreams

I got so frustrated with our baby making game plan that I threw it out the window... And I almost mean that literally. I passive aggressively stopped doing everything that we did last month because I've got other stuff to do beside laying on my back for an hour after getting busy.

So, I have employed another "technique". Please notice the quotations around the word... Notice them because this new technique is anything but a technique. What I've started doing is waiting for someone I know, preferably a family member, to have a dream about fish.

Why???

Because the theory is that when someone dreams of fish, it means that someone is pregnant. It worked when my mother and I had dreams about fish... Like a week later, we found out that my cousins (at different times) were pregnant. So, as far as I'm concerned, fish dreams are good as gold.

My mother can't seem to work up dreams of fish, but she has dreamed that I was having a baby and another of my having twins. Zack has had dreams of him taking care of a baby boy, and my dreams are similar. But not one damn fish!

Until yesterday!!!

A coworker sent me an email that she'd had a dream about fish and that I was in it! I instantly emailed her back that I'd been waiting on that dream. Seriously, as silly as it sounds to believe in something so superstitiuos, I'm hella excited to see is Aunt Flo has gone on extended vacay.

It would also be another explanation as to why I've had the BGs for two days other than the fact that I've had cream cheese for two days, and I'm lactose intolerant.

All I need now is for an aunt, mother, cousin, or sister to dream of fish...