Cry, Cry Baby

For the last two weeks, I have been searching for the perfect outfit for my baby shower. Literally... searching.

I finally decided to order a tunic dress that I thought was perfect. Until it arrived at my house, that is. I put on the dress and noticed that there was a black smudge on the right shoulder and a little nik on the chest. I knew I couldn't wear it... not after having paid the price I paid for it. I decided that it would go back asap, and I would find something else. Zack and I looked for something Friday evening at all the maternity stores around the mall and then stumbled upon some neat shirts at H&M. I would try them on the next day because the mall was about to close.

Well, my mother came to visit Saturday to help me do some things around the house. We went out to the mall to find me something to wear to the shower.

Long story short... The shirts at H&M looked like tents or did not fit, and we could find nothing else. I decided that we should leave the mall and try the maternity stores again. When I walked in and found nothing I liked, I could no longer control my hurt and disappointment.

I had a slight temper tantrum with the sales associates and my mother. We left.

When mom and I got in the car and she tried to calm me with her sweet optimism, I began crying and insisting that she did not understand, and that no one could understand. I ranted that everyone at the shower would look nicer than I and that none of the clothes in these (stupid) stores would not fit me because my torso is so short, and I don't have the typical pregnant body.

I cried behind the steering wheel until the front of my grey shirt was wet. Thank goodness my dad covers the leather seats in his car (the car we were driving) with towels. I pulled up to a Target parking space and tried to regain my composure.

My poor mother sat there in the passenger seat and looked at me sad that there was nothing she could do to help. I felt so bad that she was hurt, but I could NOT stop crying.

Eventually, wee got back to my house, and I apologized for being such a baby. She reassured me that I would be pretty no matter what I wore, and that she was sorry for not being able to help. She left about an hour later, and I was sad because I wanted her to stay. I felt like I had ruined our time together.

Later, Zack convinced me to get on the computer to find something to wear. At that time, my mom called and gave me a "mother's pep rally", and of course, I started crying again.

Afterwards and with Zack's help, I mustered up another round of mall energy, and Zack and I went back out to the mall to find something for me to wear.

It was a really... REALLY... long day, but I finally found something to wear.