Saturday, December 31, 2011

Retired Shoes

Charlie's first pair of shoes were a CUTE (like, super cute) pair of red Elmo shoes from Stride Rite. I absolutely LOVE them... maybe too much. He wore those shoes from August to Christmas day when my parents, who insisted that he have a pair of hard-bottom, high top shoes, purchased him a pair of relatively hard-bottomed, high top shoes. They decided to buy them in brown because I refused to put white shoes on my son's feet. When I bought the Elmo shoes, I also bought a pair of regular walker shoes that were a half size larger so that he would have them at the appropriate time. Well, since he had been wearing the size 3 Elmos for forever, he actually outgrew the brown 3.5. I didn't find that out until I took the brown shoes I bought back to Stride Rite to exchange them form a larger size since my parents bought the size 4 hard-bottoms. I was able to exchange the brown 3.5 shoes for the same shoe in a blue 4.5. I am happy... but those Elmos were SOOOO darn cute!!! ugh! I actually thought about trading the brown shoes for a 4.5 in the Elmos but figured that might be a little weird. So long Baby Elmo shoes!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

What Now?

My parents have been begging (BEGGING) to keep the baby for months. Well, Thanksgiving was the first time that we were ever willing to separate ourselves from him for longer than a few hours. My mom asked, and my husband and I agreed that we would leave him with my parents and pick him up a couple of days later. My parents, especially my mom, were over the moon. I packed his food, clothes, and favorite toys and videos so that he would be comfortable with my folks.

Fast forward to a conversation we hand during our drive home...

Zack: I wonder what Charlie is doing right now.
Me: I bet he's in the backseat sleeping. (pause) Well, I guess not.

An hour later while watching a movie...

Zack: I sure do miss Charlie. He'd be playing in the play yard right now.
Me: Yeah, lets enjoy the movie. (getting settled into being without baby)

Two hours later as we're going to bed...

Zack: I wonder how Charlie is doing.
Me: (annoyed) I'm sure he's fine!

At lights out...

Zack: (sleeping)
Me: (obsessively watching videos of Charlie on my phone)

I had been so excited at the prospect of getting one full night of uninterrupted sleep, but that was not the case.

I could not sleep at all!!! I absolutely missed having my little man in the crib next to our bed. I love listening to him breathe and snore. I LOVE the feel of his breath as I lean in closer to hear him breathe. I missed kissing him and his toes goodnight.

I enjoyed the next day, but I texted my mom a million times to see how he was doing.

I slept much better Friday night, but I totally look forward to picking him up today!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

My Approach to Bullies

I had the fantastic idea to go on a playdate at some "kid friendly" playroom. My friends and I showed up to a crazy setting of children running wild and losing their minds. We found a nice quiet corner so that our babies could also play.

Well, fast forward 30 minutes...

Charlie and I are playing in a small corner with a ball from the ball pen when a 3-4 year old walks in our area picking up balls. He looks at Charlie and notices that he is holding one of the balls.

When the kid reaches for it, I tell him that my child is playing with it. He proceeds to take it out of Charlie's hand and walk away. In my teacher voice, I yell, "You should give that back because he was playing with it."

The kid looks at me and starts to walk away.

In my "Don't take stuff from my kid" voice, I yell, "Hey! You! Give it back now!"

The kid ran away with his friend.

I... was... furious!!!!!

I got up off the floor and started to go after the kid. Then I remembered my sweet baby on the floor and decided to scoop him up and walk off my anger.

Long story short... I won't take my kid back to that place until he's six or seven...

Not until I teach Charlie the following procedures for when a kid takes something from him:

1. Calm yourself down
2. Walk over (or run) to the kid and ask politely for your toy
3. If the kid gives it back, take it and say "thank you"


4. If the kid refuses to give it back, push him down as hard as you can, scream "This is MY toy, punk!", take your toy, and WALK away
5. Come find me, and tell me what happened


5. If the kid decides to fight you before you can tell me what happened, you better be ready and willing to whoop his arse!
6. When it is over, come find me, and tell me what happened

I will deal with the parents accordingly.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Gettin' Paid!!!

Ok... I took twelve weeks of leave to stay home with Charlie... about seven of those weeks were unpaid. I've been getting paid part-time, minimum wage checks since April. This was our song for five months.

Well... I just got paid a real check, and our tune has change...

What Baby Gets...

Zack and I were sleeping peacefully early Wednesday morning (3am) until we heard a strange sound in the baby's crib.

The sound of watery vomit splattering against his vinyl crib mattress.

We both jumped from our bed and ran over to see our sweet angel covered in regurgitated baby food... which looked a lot like thick milk.

We wiped the baby down and cleaned his mattress and changed his sheets and placed him in our bed.

Zack, confirming that all was well, decided that he would go to the gym early and come back home before work.

He went downstairs and prepared to leave until...

I screamed for him to come back upstairs immediately.

The baby was HURLING... HURLING!!! out of his mouth... out of his nose... and if it had been possible... out of his ears.

I sat in front of him trying to catch it in my hands, but it was too watery.

I ended up calling off of work to keep him home. We assumed that it was something he had eaten the day before.


Thursday day went well for us although Zack complained of having a "warm" stomach.

We both worked, and Charlie had a great day at daycare.

Until we got home *cue scary music here*

I walked in the door and kissed my family. I grabbed the baby and sat down. About fifteen minutes later, I thought I'd been injected with an "I feel like sh!t" needle. I gave the baby back to Zack and ran to the bathroom. When I came out, I told Zack that he'd have to go to the store and get some ginger ale and saltines because I was getting sick.

While he took his time grocery shopping at Walmart, I tried my best not to pass out. He eventually returned, and I decided to go to bed with my saltines and ginger ale.

That was all she wrote.

Zack and I spent the best part of 8pm-4am taking turns puking up our guts in the bathroom.

(side note: I can literally count the number of times I've vomited on one hand. The last time I did was November 15, 2006 due to food poisoning I received after eating a turkey surprise lunch at a school where I taught. Talk about surprises!)

I tried to work the next day but had to leave because I (obviously) wasn't better. I came home and slept for three hours.

We're feeling much better now, but this episode only proves that what baby gets, we get.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

What About Me!?!???!

My kid is crawling now... Well, it's more like The Worm, but nonetheless, he gets to where he wants to go. If we put him on the floor in our livingroom, he tries to crawl to the tv or our shoes.

Just the other day I noticed something odd. I was holding Charlie and playing with him when my husband walked into the room/. My kid, literally, try's to twist out of my arms in order to get to Zack. I put him on the floor, and he hauls ass to get to Zack.

He has never crawled that quickly to me!!! I mean... He was MOVING!!!

My feelings are hurt every time he does it... Which is at least once a day. I do everything for him... When it comes to doing work for the baby, I do about 90% of it... And I gets no love.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Poop Happens

Now that Charlie is eating food, his poop has changed. As a matter of fact, poop grows and changes just like the baby grows and changes.

Breastmilk poop is runny and seedy and a cross between green and yellow.

Formula poop is a little heavier, not so seedy, and is a cross between green and brown.

Food poop is heavy and thick and the color or whatever was eaten. Like, poop after carrots is orange.

I guess I've become somewhat of a poop professional since bringing the baby home. I've been up close and personal with poop, and poop and I just keep getting closer.

Like the quality time that poop and I had this weekend...

Yesterday and today I had incidents of spilling balls of poo while changing baby's diaper. As I move the dirty diaper from under the baby, balls of poo rolled out of the diaper and onto the floor and changing pad. I had to pick these marbles of digested food up with my hands and then wash whatever was touched.

This morning I tried to bathe baby in his tub. When I set him on the little chair in the tub, I noticed he had pooped in the tub. IN THE TUB!!!

The fun never ends.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


I can pinpoint the exact moment when I became a fan of shopping... Not necessarily a fan of fashion... Just shopping.

When I was 13, my mom let me rent Clueless from Blockbusters, and I watched it 11 times before having to return it. I was addicted to Cher's and Dionne's lifestyles. I wanted to be them. I wanted their closets.

Whenever I went shopping with my parents, I'd ask for pleated skirts and knee socks from Express, and that's exactly what I got. They would take me to Lord & Taylor and buy me cashmere cardigan sweaters and button-down shirts. We would go to the Macy's downtown, and I'd pick out bell-bottomed jeans and dresses. I'd get high on getting new clothes on sale. When I got home, I'd tally all the original prices and compare them to the sales prices then hang every in neatly in my closet.

I haven't changed much now that I'm an adult. I am a bargain shopper, and I refuse to buy anything regular priced. Although I no longer shop at Express, I am thoroughly addicted to Ann Taylor and The Loft. As a matter of fact, I can't (literally) resist their big sales on sale items... Like the one this weekend where there is an extra 50% or 40% off sale items. I bought like 5 outfits for the low. And then The Gap had the same sale, so I had to buy from them too!

What's so crazy is that I live arms distance from three Lofts, two Ann Taylors, and two Gaps. I remember last spring, I went to all three Loft stores in a day just to take full advantage of the sale.

To keep myself from pissing my money away in clothes, I'm going to try and establish the policy of saving the same amount I spend on clothes for charlie's college fund. That policy will go into effect August first.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Coolest Kid at Camp

I went to pick up Charlie from daycare, and when I walked into the place, I could hear babies screaming and crying. I listened closely to hear the cry of my baby, but I could not.

I walked into the room and scanned but didn't see my kid. Babies cried loudly. The teacher told me that all the babies like to eat at 3, so that was why they were crying. They had an extra pair of hands in the room to help warm the bottles and feed the babies.

The teacher informed me that my kid was sitting in the swing by the window. I turned and saw him.


Toes spread wide (as he normally does)...

Holding his pacifier...


Looking at me...


I smiled back, danced over to him, and got him out the swing. He calmly looked down at the crying babies and smiled.
My baby is so cool.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Lizard in the House

Scene: I am in the kitchen finishing dinner. Zack is on the sofa in the livingroom holding the baby. Our kitchen and livingroom are one big room separated by a short wall. The loveseat is by the back window and not too far from the back door. The stairs are located directly in front of the back door. I keep a pair of sneakers and flip flops at the bottom of the stairs.

I look toward the back door (about seven feet from the sofa) and see something long and gray scamper across the floor. I freak out. This is how it went.

Me: (climbing onto kitchen counter) Zack!!! Zack!!! Something just ran toward the loveseat!!!
Zack: (slowly reacting) what?
Me: Something just ran across the floor toward the loveseat!!!
Zack: (turning toward loveseat without urgency) What are you talking about?
Me: (fully on countertop now) Zack... Something... Just... Ran... toward... the window and loveseat!!! Like a lizard.
Zack: (still looking at loveseat) A lizard?
Me: Zack! Put the baby in the pack n' play, and go to the freaking loveseat! There is a lizard in the house!
Zack: (Getting up slowly and looking at the floor)
Me: Put the baby in the pack n' play now, and get the lizard!
Zack: (puts baby in pack n' play and goes in the kitchen to get the broom). Steph, where's the broom?!
Me: (death stare on back door and loveseat) where it always is! by the fridge!
Zack: (goes to back door with broom) I'll sweep him out the door.
Me: No! You won't!!! We have a baby in the house! You better kill him!
*The lizard, all 9 inches of him, runs towards the back door.
Zack: (screams and attempts to jump on lizard)
*There was a bunch of broom banging, jumping up and down, and stomping.
Me: (still on counter) Did you get it?!?!?!
Zack: I think so.
Me: Well, you need to be sure! Do you see it?! Where is it?
Zack: (Broom in hand) Its on your shoe. I definitely hurt him because there is blood on your shoe. I don't know if he's gonna die though.
Me: (unconcerned about the shoe and still on the counter)
Zack: I'm gonna sweep him out the door. (sweeps shoe and lizard out the door)
Me: (climbing down off the counter) Check and see if there are any more in the house! I swear I saw one go behind the loveseat!
Zack: I got him.
Me: Did you hear me?! I saw one go behind the loveseat... unless that was the same one... but there might be two! (climbing back onto counter)
Zack: (Searching the living room floor) Steph, I don't see anything else.
Me: (climbing off the counter again) Ok. I just don't want to look down at Charlie playing on the floor and see him playing with a lizard.
Zack: Charlie would probably try to put it in his mouth like he does everything else!

Ever since this incident, I have been paranoid that every little sound and movement is a lizard. I was sweeping the bottom of the pantry and out came something that I swore was a broken off lizard tail. I nearly broke my neck trying to run back onto the counter. It was just a little leaf thing from outside though.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Morning Nap


Charlie wakes up, plays, has a bottle, plays again, then passes out like this.

I spend a few minutes of this time kissing his legs and feet. It's one of my favorite things ever!

Btw, I posted this through email! I'm freaking excited that I can post pics without getting on the computer! Life will never be the same.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

3am Snack Routine

Wait for baby to fuss...
Prepare bottle, get back in bed, watch baby on monitor...
Wait for baby to (slightly) cry...
Get baby from crib, place first pacifier in corner of crib...
Sit on bed with baby, give him a 4oz bottle, cover his feet with sheet...
Wait for him to finish (he never really wakes up)...
Set bottle on nightstand, give him second pacifier, lay him on bed...
Get diaper, change him, put diaper in the Genie...
Scoop baby up, hold him for a few seconds...
Place him back in crib with second pacifier, cover him with blanket...
Get first pacifier and place it in cup on nightstand...
Take bottle to bathroom, rinse it out, set it next to 12am bottle...
Go back to bed, window shop on the Internet or play Words w/ Friends...
Fall asleep.

(this takes 10-15 minutes and happens at midnight, 3am, and 5:30am. At 5:30, we'll wake up and watch the Disney channel.)

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Sounds and Smells

Yesterday, I was getting the baby's diaper bag prepared for an outing, and while I was preparing his bottles and formula container, I heard a vibrating noise. Baby was already locked into his carseat and placed on the sofa across the room.

I freaked out once I heard the noise and figured that my phone must be on vibrate. I looked for it, but then realized that my phone was in my back pocket. I started looking for a creature that must've (obviously) been making noise by the refridgerator. No luck. I give up and decide to get the baby and go to the car.

As I picked the carseat up, I realized (by the smell) that baby had pooped his diaper. The vibration I heard was not my phone or an animal, it was my baby pooping with such force that it shook the carseat. Oh, the sounds liks baby makes!


I was taking baby to a luncheon with several co-workers and their babies today. As we rode down the street, I started to wonder what on earth had died in the bushes. Surely, my air conditioner was pulling in the putrid fumes from some rotting animal on the side of the road. I look down at the air control dials and notice that the aire was on max... meaning that the system was pulling air from inside the car. I switched the system to pull air from outside the car to see if there would be a difference in the smell. Yes, the air began to smell cleaner.

When we get to the restaurant, I start talking to my friends and realize that the smell has followed us into the restaurant. The only logical answer is that my kid has pooped his diaper. I sniffed, and my suspisions were confirmed. I prayed that he had not exploded into the carseat (because could you imagine trying to clean that and the smell that would linger?!), but he had not. I change him and then realize that I didn't have the little blue diaper trash bags. I wrapped the diaper and dumped it in the trash. I'm pretty sure the staff at that place are hurrying to get that thing out of the building! Even I was offended by the smell!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Random Stuff

Desitin is a miracle cream for any and every rash. We us it all over the baby and it works!

I may never know what it is like to sleep through the night ever again. Baby is still up every two hours starting around eleven or midnight.

Charlie can still wear his three month gowns, and he is six months old.

We lowered his crib mattress so that he can't pull up on the rails.

Charlie gets around by rolling over. He rolls and rolls until he reaches the other side of the room.

My house is in a constant state of messy, and I can't seem to get control of it because I'm tired, there aren't enough hours in a day, and my husband refuses to throw any of his sh!t away.

The BET awards was too long. I fell asleep after three hours. Why can't black folks keep stuff on schedule?

I am so excited that I was able to find a breathable bumper for Charlie's mini crib!!!

My kid enjoys watching tv.

I am completely formula feeding. The river runneth dry, so I have packed and stored my pump supplies. I'm kinda excited about being done, but that formula is hella expensive!

It amazes me that babies have sweaty feet.

I need to lose 15 pounds before going back to work, and my belly flab looks weird. It kinds sits on top of my incision. Hopefully, those 15 lbs will get rid of that belly fat.

My husband is an enabler. I have a major sweet tooth, and he consistently brings in sweet "for him". This week we have homemade cookies and cream ice-cream and cookie cake. It's so frustrating... Especially when he says, "Well, Steph, you don't have to eat it!". That's like telling a crack addict that he doesn't have to smoke the big rock you just placed next to his water cup.

I am an avid window shopper and think I might have an impulse shopping problem. Well, maybe not a problem... But buying stuff makes me happy.

My kid makes me happy and seeing him smile for just a moment rights an entire day of wrongs.

As of recently, he is peeing out a lot of diapers at night. I used to change them and 9 and they'd last through the night... But now, I change him at 9, 1, and 4, and they are all completely full!

I LOVE, love, love watching kid shows like Little Einsteins, Dinosaur Train, Handy Manny, Word World, and Martha Speaks.

I want so badly for my kid to look like me because he's so cute, and I want to be responsible for his cuteness... But he looks just like his dad, and I am constantly reminded whenever ANYONE sees him. "He looks JUST like his daddy!". I can only claim his complexion, toes, and fingers. I'm sure he has my personality.

Sunday, June 19, 2011


When I woke up on Thursday morning, I was exhausted, and I had mucus in my throat and nose. I blamed Zack for having the air conditioning turned up too high.

Well, Friday... I am even more exhausted, and I start to feel like my "cold" is getting the best of me. By Friday night, I was curled up under the covers of my bed wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I was in bed and sleeping by 7pm with chills and a terribly sore throat.

I called my parents and cancelled my Father's Day visit and decided instead to go to the Walgreens RediClinic for a checkup and some meds. I was almost 90% positive that I had strep throat because the pain in my throat radiated and pulsated in my ear and the pain was only on the right side.

I was right. I drove to the clinic at 8:30am with baby in tow wearing sweatpants, a ratty Georgia State shirt, and my beloved Toms. My hair had barely been combed, but I had achieved my goal of being first in line. As a matter of fact, I got there 15 minutes before the staff. They received the stank eye for being late but only for a second because I felt so bad, and I needed their help.

I was tested and given antibiotics and told that I was to change my pillows and toothbrush within 48 hours of taking the meds. I was also told that I wouldn't be able to kiss or breathe on the baby because he could catch it.

My mama came to help take care of Charlie while I slept my face off. I ended up sleeping in the guestroom while Zack kept the baby in our room. I had started in our room but was soon made to wake up and listen to a recording of my freight train snoring (which is what happens when your tonsils have nearly swollen your throat shut). I felt bad for the noise, so I left.

That brings us to right now... I miss my baby so much, and I want to sleep with him so badly that I'm restless. I can't sleep without him. You'd think that I'd be all over this whole "uninterrupted night's sleep", but no... Here I am blogging because I'd rather be with him waking up every two hours.

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Break Out

This is what I get when my kid learns to flip over and "crawl".

Side note: He's so oily because I had just taken him out of the bath and had given him a massage.

and this is how he has to be secured on the bed. He moves so fast!

Another side note: Our bed looks so crazy because I had just changed the sheets and mattress cover because he had just had a major blowout, and everything included me and him had to be washed.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

January 12, 2011

I was induced two weeks early due to low fluid, and thank Goodness because THIS is what it looked like on the date that I was "due" to have a baby.

Yeah... The drive to the hospital would've been crazy!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Surprises in the Middle of the Night

I'm in the process of putting my son in his crib for the night because he is currently taking over my bed. Seriously, ever since he learned how to roll over and "crawl", he has turned my bed into the baby ice-capades. He practically sleep crawls all.night.long!!! He turns his little body so that he tap dances on my belly and chest. It's not an ideal way to sleep.

My husband decided that he'd rather sleep in the spare bedroom because he "likes to stretch out".

Yeah, whatever!!! Just wait...

Zack will definitely have to pay his dues when Charlie is having nightmares and screaming for one of us to walk down the hallway to his room and save him from the monsters.

Well, I decided the other night to lay Charlie in his own bed for the night to see how it would go. It went well for two nights although I still had to get up every hour or two to give him a pacifier or feed him.

Tonight, I brought Charlie upstairs and laid him in his crib just as the precious two days. He had been fed and covered in a snuggly blanket. Because he had been wheezing, I picked him up to administer some saline, but he refused and fought against it with his life. I placed him back in his crib.

For whatever reason (probably the wheezing), I went back to his crib to turn him over, but this time I noticed that his belly was wet. I think to myself that he has peed out his diaper and now needs a new shirt and a diaper change. I tip-toed down the hallway (as to not wake Zack) and grabbed a fresh onesie from Charlie's room.

As I approached my sleeping baby, I noticed that he had a poopy smell. I think to myself, "Surely that wetness isn't poo!"

Oh... How wrong was I!

His little diaper had exploded; poo covered his belly and sheets. It took me standing in one spot, staring at that mess for three minutes before I could figure out what to do.

I quickly and carefully took off his diaper and onesie then wiped him down with wet wipes. After that, I gave him an abbreviated bath in the bathroom sink, lotioned his little body, dressed him, soaked his pooed-out onesie and sheet in water and oxy clean, and wiped his mattress down with Lysol.

He is now tossing and turning next to me in my bed. I'm back where I started... With a baby kicking my side and taking over my bed. And to top it all off... He's congested, so he's breathing like a little baby freight train.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Insufficient Funds???

I took baby to daycare today so that I could get some stuff done. I watched DVR'd episodes of Braxton Family Values (which I am secretly addicted to), went to the gym, and went to Walmart.

While at Walmart, I wanted to get a gift for Charlie's teacher's birthday as well as pick up a few groceries. I got the necessities: three boxes of the same cereal, greek yogurt, eggs, OJ, all kinds of fruit, some frozen veggies, baby formula, diapers, and some other stuff.

I get to the register to use my $5.76 coupon for the formula, and the lady isn't sure how to ring it up. Is it a check or cash? She asks, and the manager told her that it was both. I swipe my debit card before she finishes (as I always do), and the register freezes. We have to wait for a manager.

She eventually realizes that she'll have to ring up my stuff all over again, so we move to another register. I swipe my debit card again and the register reads: Not Approved.


I swipe again...


I swipe my AMEX, and it goes through.

The manager and sales associate tell me that I should check with my bank to see if they froze my account because of the previous swipe on the first register. I agree.

I call my mom to tell her about my ordeal, and she states that that has never happened to her even though she has swiped and cancelled the transaction. I make up some excuse and go on about my day.

When I get home, I decide to check out my back account, and lo and behold.....

I'm low on funds!

This for the girl who has NEVER had to balance a checkbook, check her account, or worry about low funds! The first and only time I've ever over drafted my account was in 2006 when I paid my car note twice in a week.

oh well... I guess thats what happens when your paycheck is $300...

I'll only be buying the bare necessities from here on out.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Pay Day

I'm a teacher, so when I was "planning my pregnancy", I had decided to get pregnant so that I would start my maternity leave in April.

Well, that was in a perfect world.

In THIS world, I got pregnant so that I would be able to end the Fall semester and begin the Spring semester within 12 weeks. I, after having talked it over with the hubby, decided to take the full 12 weeks allotted to maternity leave... Knowing that I would only get paid for five of those weeks.

I didn't feel it as much in March when I didn't receive a check especially since the lady at Central Office told me that my checks would be "significantly less"...

I assumed that "significantly less" meant that I'd receive half my check.

Long story short...

My paycheck was a wopping...

Three hundred dollars!!!!!

All of my shopping plans have had to be modified. I can only window shop for the next few weeks. In the meantime, I've found the perfect handbag and red shoes.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Naps at Daycare

Because he has a hard time falling asleep on his back, the teachers allow Charlie to fall asleep in his bouncy chair, and then they transport him to his crib. In order to fall asleep, he needs to hold on to a "lovie" (as my friend's mom calls it). For Charlie, that lovie can be a hand, a plush, stuffed animal, or a blanket. At the daycare, his lovie is a cloth book.

When I arrived to pick him up one day, this is what he looked like after falling asleep with his book.

This is what he looked like today.....

Amazing, hunh!

Teacher Appreciation Day

Teacher Appreciation Day was celebrated at Charlie's school a few weeks ago. The school provided parents with a list of each teacher's likes as well as what was going to be done on each day. On that Monday, the children were to write a sweet letter to their teacher. Since my baby obviously can't write a letter, I made shirts for all the teachers who care for him at some point in the day, and he wore a different shirt every day for three days.

I didn't get a picture of the third one, but it was cute. I was going to make one that said "You are Charlie's Angel", but he got sick and I had to take him to the doctor.

I also bought gifts for each teacher and the front office staff, took in flowers, and brought a dessert for their luncheon.

I had a blast, and I look forward to doing it next year!

Baby Food

Zack bought us the Baby Bullet (BB) soon after returning from the hospital because he couldn't wait to make organic baby food. We just started using it within the last month as we are now introducing Charlie to vegetables and fruits. Zack has made avocado and bananas, and those were the first foods we gave to the baby.

Zack demanded that I use the BB yesterday even though I didn't feel good and wanted to crash on the sofa in my Snuggie. After taking a decent about of pressure from him, I decided to make some sweet peas. I was amazed... and addicted...

I made peas, zucchini, and apples, and I would've made more, but I ran out of stuff to make. I LOVED putting the food in the little storage containers and the food "jars".

After comparing the color of the home foods to the jarred stuff from the grocery store, I don't ever want to give my baby jarred food.

The jar is a jar of peas from an organic baby food company, and my peas are the dark green in the top row (organic, frozen peas from Whole Foods).

Check out my first frozen stash!!! I'm so proud!!!

Far left: Avocado
Top left and bottom second column: apples
Second from the right: Zucchini
Far right: Peas

Surprised to Find...

My husband is totally into helping with the baby. As a matter of fact, he is like an over protective mother. He helps give baths, change diapers, and will feed him (with a bottle, of course).

I was going through Charlie's hamper so that I could wash his clothes, and I found this...

I immediately think, "WTF!!! Zack wiped Charlie's butt with his bib?!?!?!"

I march downstairs holding the two bibs and firmly state that "this" will NEVER happen to Charlie's bibs again... EVER!

Zack looks at me and say, "What?"

I frown and say, "This!!! This doesn't happen and not get soaked in water and oxy clean!"

He shrugs and says, "Steph, its only peas."

Long story short... the bibs are stained forever!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Leaky Faucets

There are things I'm starting to take for granted (probably because I'm so tired with trying to keep up three jobs: wife, mother, teacher) like the amount of time it takes to get ready and out of the house on time or having a pre-packed lunch for the next day.

Another thing I take for granted are nursing pads. They're those little maxi pads for your "leaky faucets". I stopped wearing them about a month and a half ago when I ran out. I decided that I didn't really need them if I pumped or nursed regularly. And I was pumping regularly when I firt went back to work. I pumped at 6:30a, 9:30a, 12:15p, 4:45p, and then I nursed whenever he wanted until 6:30a the next day.

Well, the pumping has now been taken for granted, and i now pump at 12:25 and MAYBE at 6:00p... I'm just too darn busy OR too damn tired.

This neglect of my motherly duties has led to "leaky faucets"... Without nursing pads. I noticed them yesterday in my brand new, full-priced, sexy chic VS bra. (*thinking: "Good going, Steph. Thank goodness Zack bought you little laundry bags for your bras so that you don't have to try and clean this by hand.)

I woke 30 minutes ago to nurse the baby. (note: I neglected to wear the nursing sports bra I ALWAYS wear to bed because I was too tired to find it and put it on)

I touched his little booty and noticed it was wet. The entire bottom right side (the side my left boob was lying on) was soaking wet. I automatically figured he wet himself until I realized that he laid on his left side all night, so the left side should be wet.

I decided to taste the shirt (don't judge me) to confirm my second hypothesis... It was confirmed. The "pee" turned out to be breast milk, and my poor baby with the wet night gown was still nursing on my right boob either unaware or simply not caring that his gown was wet.

I'll be going to the store today to buy more nursing pads.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Teething Mistake

Charlie is drooling everywhere and has now started chewing on his fingers. We assume that he must be beginning the teething process... so what do we do?

Break out the teething rings... but first, they must be sterilized.

My sweet husband decides to bypass the sterilizer bags and boil them in water.

This is what I find after he tells me that they're probably done.... THIRTY MINUTES LATER!!!!!

All the teethers melted together.


Thursday, May 19, 2011

And I Say, "My Baby Sweats Roses!!!"

A friend of mine just returned to work from her maternity leave, and (as mothers do) we spent a decent portion of our time chit chatting about baby and mommy stuff. Well, the topic of baby baths came up. Here she was in front of me saying that she bathed her baby every... Single... Day... Everyday!!! And I smiled at her.


She confirmed. I guess from the look on my face she assumed that I didn't bathe Charlie every day...

And you know what?

She was right. *shrug*

I replied that I (this is the point where you turn off your judge-ometer) give him a bath at least once a week, twice if we're both lucky... But I usually shoot for twice: Sundays and Wednesdays.

Of course, she explodes in laughter, and I felt like maybe I was doing something wrong... Like not fully explaining my position. I spent the next 15-20 minutes and another 15 minutes the next day trying to explain myself. All I did was draw more laughter and side-eye looks from other co-workers. I gave up and concluded that I needed to etch more time into my day to throw baby into some bath water.

So... I work up early (the same time) on Monday morning to give him a bath... In the sink because it's just waaaaay too much effort to pull out that baby tub and ruin my back for the day. We made a mess with the water, but he was good and clean. We bathed him again Thursday... He'll get another today or tomorrow... And that's as good as it gets. He'll now get three baths a week because there isn't enough time or energy in a day.

When he starts developin big boy stank, I'll be sure to dip him is water every night... And teenage boy stank will be upgraded to afternoon and morning showers... But until then, my baby sweats roses.

Monday, May 9, 2011

My Mom

My mother is the best mom EVER!!!

and I love her so very much!

Mother's Day

My first Mother's Day was really nice! I'm so blessed to have such an amazing baby! He's better than I ever could've hoped for... I wonder if he'll ever know how much I love him or how awesome I think he is...

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Solitary Confinement

Twice a day I go to a little room near the counselors office so that I can pump. This room contains nothing more than a desk, two chairs, and an empty bookcase. The walls are an institutional mauve-like color, and there is a clock on the wall that (I now realize after all this time) is frozen at 3:58 and 57 seconds. The clock is seems to always disappoint me... First, it doesn't work, then it never got to 4:00!

Now, in this tiny room and with the droning sound of my pump... I'm pissed off that the clock never made it to four. The batteries couldn't wait a measly minute and three seconds!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Broken Sleep

When I was in college, I chose whether or not I slept for a full eight hours or not. If I had something to finish (like a 25 page paper I waited until the last minute to complete), I would go to bed early and wake at 2 or 3 in the morning to finish the assignment. I would work until my first class at 8am and go to class with a good amount of energy to complete my day... which was over at 1pm. I spent a lot of time in the mirror with Visine trying to get rid of the redness and burning sensation in my eyes.

I figured nothing would be worse than that. Well, I guess I hadn't factored in motherhood.

I have the perfect baby... he is cuter than I could've ever hoped for, he ALWAYS smiles and laughs, he loves to cuddle, he doesn't cry often, he goes to bed at 7:30, and he takes long naps.


This little kid wakes up in the night every two and a half to three hours to eat. He sleeps in the bed with us because I can't handle getting him out of his crib and nursing him and placing him back in the crib.

What gets me is that he doesn't cry when he's hungry, but instead, he will kick, flail his arms, and claw at my face. I try to ignore it hoping that he goes back to sleep, but he only becomes more violent until I pick him up and put a boob in his mouth.

He'll only nurse for about 15-20 minutes, and in the meantime, I go back to sleep... but last night was terrible!

He seemed to be awake every hour and a half. He was up so much that I just decided to start getting ready for work at 4:30 because it didn't make sense to go back to sleep.

Parents with young children kept saying, "He'll sleep through the night when you start feeding him cereal." I prayed that this was true, but I didn't keep my hopes up.

And for good reason... it seems that adding the cereal to his bottle has made him even more ravenous. He has increased his intake to 4.5 ounces of milk plus two tablespoons of cereal. I'm actually having to supplement with formula almost full-time since I send him to school with all the milk I can pump (4 four oz bottles).

He's only in the 10th percentile for his size, but based on how he's eating now, he'll be in the 90th percentile in no time!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Sheep Dog

Soooooooo..... according to pregnancy literature, some women lose a lot of hair after they give birth due to the fluctuations in hormones and blah, blah, blah. The last thing I read said that women usually shed hair for an entire year.

Well, if that is the case, I will be bald by Charlie's first birthday. I have been shedding hair like a friggin sheep dog. Its everywhere! In the kitchen, in the laundry room, in the fridge, wrapped in the folds of baby's neck. My hair literally rolls around like tumbleweeds in the desert.

If I run my hands through my hair, I'm guaranteed to have a few strands of hair wrapped around my fingers. I'm actually "balding" in spots where I've always had thin hair.

I'm so nervous about the hair loss that I'm considering setting up standing appointments for twice a month at the salon. I'm thinking about pre-paying for the service to ensure that I don't get lazy and return to my regular habit of getting my hair done when its absolutely necessary (every eight weeks or when it's so nappy that I can't comb it).


My husband is not a snuggler, but I'm in luck because my Charlie is the KING of snuggling... he's absolutely perfect for it! This is how we sleep every night. I love it!


I was reminded that I hadn't blogged in forever, and I vowed that I would write a post. That was three days ago. *sigh*

There is no time for anything (besides Words with Friends), and I always seem to be busy preparing for the next day or trying to keep my house from looking like land mines exploded in every room. Seriously... Time FLIES by once I walk in the door at 4:45pm. I'm either washing bottles or making sandwiches for lunch or washing a load of clothes or figuring out what we're going to have for dinner. I try to think of ways to save time or become more efficient, but I've failed at that because I can't seem to find a way around my 8:30 bedtime.

My schedule like this:

4:30- pick up Charlie
4:45- settle in at the house
5:00- scavenge for dinner, soak bottles
5:30- pump
6:00- eat something
6:30- watch tv, feed baby
7:00- pack bottles for daycare (baby goes to sleep for the night)
7:30- wash bottles, fix sandwiches
8:00- attempt to complete a household chore
8:30- pick out clothes for me and baby
9:00- go to bed
10:00, 1:00am, 3:30am- nurse baby
5:00-7:00am- wake up and get ready for the day (pump, feed and dress baby, make sure I have everything for the day)
7:20am- leave for daycare or work
8:00am-3:50pm- work
4:30- repeat

It is a never ending cycle of work! I can't believe that I ever said that I "didn't have time" before I had a baby. At this point in time, I look for every little second I can to get something done.

Friday, April 8, 2011

It-Snot-Gross... If Its Necessary

My Charlie has been fighting nasal congestion for about a week. We don't know if he got the bug from pollen, daycare, or me returning to those nasty pre-teens at work. I'm assuming its the pollen because I've also been congested, but it didn't feel like a cold. We've been treating him with saline and the aspirator. He sounds terrible at night and in the morning but becomes much better as the day goes on.

When he breathes, snot rattles in his nasal passages. He sneezes and it shoots (or rather, slides) from his teeny baby nostrils. He struggles to breath (my poor baby).

My dad used to tell me how women would suck baby snot right from the nose with their mouths... LITERALLY!!! Women would take their own mouths, put them over the babies' noses and suck.

Well, I'll tell you... as disgusting as it sounds, I gave that method some serious thought as I watched my wheezing sweet-pea struggle to breathe then cough because he was having such difficulty. I prayed that God would work out a miracle and transfer the mucus to me so that I could deal with the problem.

I've resorted to a seemingly effective method of simply covering his nose with tissue and holding one nostril closed. He blows out the mucus (and a lot of it) from the open nostril.

But after this experience, I tell you the truth... Its not gross if its necessary!

Thursday, April 7, 2011


I like the doctor, and I don't mind going, but I'm lazy about it. Every once in a while I'll get this crazy skin irritation and tell myself that I'm gonna go to the doctor to se what it is... I never do.

I started getting it in 2004. The first flare up was two days before starting a new job. It begins as a small rash on my bra line and on my hips. Then it spreads down my torso, around my bra line, and down my hips. I get a flare up at least once a year... Usually between January and May.

Initially, I went to google and yahoo to search my issue, and concluded that it was hives. That was in 2004. I treated myself with benedryl and baby powder.

I had a flare up in spring 2008 after completing IEPs for the first time. I still diagnosed myself with stress related hives. I wore babydoll dresses for a week and covered my skin in a cortisone cream and gold bond powder. It was terrible!

Well, two days ago I started another flare up. This time I wasn't stressed, but I was having an allergic reaction to the pollen (which is somewhat unusual for me). With the congestion, dizziness, itchy eyes, and sneezing, came another flare up. I got back on google and webmd to re-research my issue. After careful consideration, I am diagnosing myself with stress and allergen related eczema. I have itchy, red patches of skin that turn into more and then I'm left with dark patches of "scarred" skin when it goes away.

I haven't come up with my treatment yet although it'll probably include goldbond powder because that stuff is The Truth!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Chipmunk sleeps in the bed with us full time... Primarily for comfort and convenience. He usually sleeps right next to me because we both like to cuddle (my husband isn't the cuddling type).

Well, the other night I heard the strangest sound. I assumed Chipmunk was ready to eat, so I picked him up and gave him a boob. Then I realized that he wouldn't stay latched. Come to find out... The strange sound was horrible mucus in his breathing passages! He sounded like a rumbling freight train! He struggled so much to eat and became so fussy that Zack turned over to see what the deal was. In near panic, I kept repeating that I didn't know but he couldn't eat.

Side note: My husband and all the boys in his family (for the most part) have asthma. I instantly thought he was having his first attack until Zack told me that he wasn't.

Zack took Chipmunk from my arms, and I scrambled up to find a baby thermometer. I found two, but the one I wanted to use was in that stupid theft proof plastic wrapping. In panic, I searched for the box cutters. I ran back in the bedroom and fidgeted with stuff on my nightstand.

Long story short... Zack used the saline and aspirator to clear his nose, and all was well. I took his temperature under his arm using the regular thermometer. The fancy-ass baby ear thermometer that took five minutes to get out the shrink wrap is still sitting on my nightstand next to the instructions.

Baby is still congested (and so am I) but all is well. I've washed down our windows and cleaned out the air machine. Zack put eucalyptus in the humidifier.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

All Good Things

They come to an end.

I finally return to work tomorrow. After having been away for twelve working weeks or fourteen calendar weeks.

I leave my baby boy with teachers and caregivers while I go teach someone else's little boy or girl. Right now, at this moment, it just doesn't seem right. Seems ironic.

Six weeks ago, I was excited to be wasting time in my empty classroom because I wanted to be out of the house and away from my husband, parents, and demands of being a new mother. When my co-workers saw me walking into the building, they couldn't believe that I was away from the baby so soon and wondered why I would leave him (if even for a moment) to come back to work (if even for a moment). I explained that I was dedicated to my job and wanted to make sure everything was good for my substitute. I took my time going home that day... Speaking to everyone, going to the grocery store, driving the speed limit.

Now, I lament my lost maternity leave days. Days spent snuggling in the bed while Zack went off to work. Time spent kissing Chipmunk's little nose, chubby cheeks, and scrumptious toes. Moments spent smiling at each other.

I am sad. I've known all along that my leave would end. I thought I was ready, but Im not so sure I am jut yet.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


What do you notice about the way Chipmunk sleeps?

He sleeps on his belly... ALWAYS!!! Because his little arms and legs flail everywhere!

Initially we had the fear that he would suffocate after reading all the SIDS literature, but then we spoke to his doctor who told us to lay him down to sleep whichever way he wants. At the beginning of it all, Zack and I would take shifts watching him sleep on his belly because we didn't know what else to do. After that convo with the doctor, we decided that we would use all other SIDS preventative measures and lay him down on his stomach.

Well now, he is about to enter daycare, and they (by standards of the state licensing agency) can only lay him on his back. They told me to see if the doctor would write a note stating that Chipmunk could sleep on his belly, but he refused and stated that he would write a letter for him to be swaddled (which is also against state regulations) during nap time.

When I heard that the doctor would not agree for him to sleep on his belly, I immediately went into action trying to come up with a plan as to how I was gonna get my baby to sleep on his back. I couldn't think of anything. I cried. I cried for 15 minutes in between frantic calls to my mother.

I called the daycare center to see if they had any suggestion, and after giving me one suggestion (putting a blanket around his head to make him feel secure) seen here...

the lady told me "He's just gonna have to get used to it. I'm sorry."

I'm generally tough with my students and their parents because I want the kids to reach their full potential and not be hindered by their parents treating them like "babies", but when I heard that lady tell me that my sweet boy would have to "get used to it", I became furious.

I got off the phone and called my mother. I cried.

My mother put me back on track by confirming that Chipmunk would simply... have to get used to it and I would have to teach him to sleep on his back as best I can.

So where is he now???

Sleeping in the pack-n-play.....

on his belly!!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Things That Bond Mother and Child

- projectile poop that flies out of the rear end of a 6 day old baby and onto his mother and her light blue sofa.

- mommy sacrifices her nipples and allows them to become dry, cracked, and sore "straws" so that baby can be healthy.

- baby pulling a small plug of hair out of mommy's head with his Kung Fu grip.

- staying up ALL hours of the night together watchig the ceiling fan.

- mommy enduring the cool mist of baby's spit and snot in her face when he sneezes.

- sleeping side by side and drooling on each other when we do sleep at night.

- mommy listening to to the shrill sound and echo of baby's scream as she tries to bathe him in the bathroom.

- baby covering... Literally COVERING mommy and the clean bed linens in warm regurgitated milk.

- then... While mommy cleans up the spit-up, the baby poops with such force that it LITERALLY blows off his diaper, and he pees on mommy's arm and her side of the bed.

- the fact that, when the look at each other in the eyes, they see themselves and all the love they have for each other.

Warm and (not so) Fuzzies

We're very into skin-to-skin contact with our boy, so I dont sleep in a shirt (but then again I never did. I don't like how they get twisted in the sheets). I do wear my maternity bra to keep down on messes and to make it easier to attach my pump.

Well, I was just nursing Chipmunk and needed to burp him. I flung him over my shoulder like an expert and began patting his back. He slid down a little so that his face was on my collarbone. I patted.

Then I hear him burp... And realize that he has spit up a ton of warm milk onto my chest. The milk runs down my bra strap and arm pit. My baby falls asleep.

Whats so crazy is that I'm so used to it that it didnt even shock me. I reached over to the nightstand, picked up a towel, and wiped myself off. The baby is now sleeping in my arms with a towel under his head just in case he has to blow chunks again. I just changed the sheets yesterday... I can't risk it.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Top Five

These are the top five things I do with my son that would seem strange if done with anyone else.

5. I stare at him while he sleeps and study his face.... Up close!

4. I kiss and nibble on all ten toes every single day.

3. I pick boogies out of his nose with my bare hands, and I really enjoy it because he can't do it for himself.

2. I like the feel of his warm drool on my face as I hold him to my cheek.

1. I addicted to smelling his breath because it smells sweet.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Weeks vs. Months

Someone asked about Charlie's age and asked if he was two months. I said, "Um, well... He's about three months."

I just calculated the maf (because it's only math when you know what you're talking about) and he's actually two and a half months.

I think it's best to calculate baby's age in weeks just to keep down the confusion.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

What the Crap....... Is Cradle Cap???

Chipmunk's hair is changing from straight to curly... Only on the top though. I have a feeling that one day he'll have a jeri curl-like style on top and a wavy mullet on the bottom.

I noticed the other day that he had a scaly patch of skin where the curly hair was growing. It flaked off like dandruff, and just as any good mom would do, I gently scraped some of the skin away because it bothered the crap out of me.

Well, we started to notice that that part of his scalp started to smell a little weird... Like sweat or something. We came up with our reasonings as to why it smelled that way, but none of the reasons seemed to make sense to me.

I decided to do the most common-sensical thing, and I googled the condition. I found that my baby has a mild case of something called Cradle Cap. I remembered my mother-in-law mentioning something about babies getting it and hoping that he wouldn't get it, but I just assumed that it was one of those things like the baby rubbing his hair out because he sleeps on his back.

Well, my kid has it, and according to the knowledeable people on the iternet, it is a common condition in babies due to the mother's hormones, and I should treat it with mineral oil and regular shampoos.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Pump. Pump. Pump it up!!!

I was so desperate to increase my milk supply that I emailed my doctors office for help. I was kindly instructed to call the hospital's lactation consultant's help desk.

I did and left a message about my problem.

A lady returned the call, and I told her that I pump every five hours and can only get a total of three ounces. I informed her that I used to be able to get six total ounces every three or four hours.

Her cure...

Pump every two or three hours... Even through the night. What my body has done is decided that my baby doesn't need that much milk because it thinks he feeds every five or six hours.

I've been following her instructions, and I now have two 2 ounce bottles in reserves!

The body is such a machine!!!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Please, No Peas!!!

My husband asked me what I ate today. I told him that I'd eaten the leftover Popeyes chicken for breakfast and lunch. *don't judge me* He, of course, was appalled and demanded that I eat more vegetables because I'm breast feeding.

I know that I need more veggies, but I get sick of the same old broccoli and string beans.

Well, anyway...

I am sitting upstairs holding the baby, and he walks in the room holding a bowl. I instantly think, "Yay! You made me oatmeal!"


He hands the bowl to me and says, "Here, Steph. I made you a bowl of peas with butter." *cringe*

As I sit here trying to eat (gagging over) these peas, I know for sure that I'm gonna have to be more proactive in making my own veggies because I'll be damned if I have to eat another bowl of peas and butter!


I am so thankful for modern technology! I love being able to take a picture or video recording of Chipmunk without needing to get out 35mm film or a big ole camcorder. I like that my phone is capable of doing all that a phone, camera, and camcorder can do.

I'm also thankful that I can share my photos and videos on FB or through email instead of having to get my film developed.

I'm super appreciative that I can text these pics and videos to our parents, family, and friends so that they can see them instantly.

Things are so much better than the 80s!!!

And it is for these reasons why I would like to thank the geeks and nerds of America and around the world. Because without you, I wouldn't have such luxuries.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Just to be Close to You

We have three beds in our room... Two belong to the baby: my grandmother's one hundred year old cradle and the crib. The baby sleeps in the cradle right next to my side of the bed, and the crib is multi-purposing as a changing table and a mat for tummy time.

With all this sleep space for Chipmunk, he prefers to sleep in our bed. He can sleep there for hours. The problem is... I don't want to get into a habit of allowing him to sleep in our bed. I generally hold him in our bed until he falls asleep then I put him in the cradle. Before I get back on the bed and fall asleep, hes wimpering and crying, and Zack is telling me to bring him back to our bed. It get annoying.

Then today while on the phone with my mom, I noticed how good Chipmunk was sleeping in our bed (he slept there for nearly four hours!). Then it hit me...

It's not the bed itself that Chipmunk is after... He's after our scents which just so happened to be in the sheets and comforter.

So, I tried placing the shirt I wore today in the cradle with him, and what do you know... It worked!!!

He stopped whimpering and went back to sleep!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


As a kid and teenager, I wrote a lot of short stories. It was my favorite (only) hobby.

With this whole motherhood experience (all eight weeks of it) I've developed an interest in children's books. I think I'm gonna try my hand at writing a few short stories for children (or maybe just Chipmunk).

Monday, February 28, 2011

Shot Through the Heart

My little Chipmunk had his first shots today. I was totally equipped with my baby Tylenol and "I can do this" attitude.

The nurse and doctor explained the shots and that he might run a low grade fever afterwards, so I was "prepared" to help my baby through this experience.

Nurse two came into the room with three needles and the oral vaccine and told me that sometimes the parents take the shot harder than the baby. I was prepared.

I held his hands, she administered the shot, and he looked at me. Tore his face up. Dropped his pacifier. And screamed bloody murder!

My heart sank, but I was able to hold myself together for three seconds before I laid my face beside his and let our tears roll into each other.

Then I realized that I was a mom and my son needed me to be a rock. I stood up straight and regained my composure.

Nurse two placed three little, round bandaids on his chubby, brown thighs and reminded us to have a great day. I scooped up my crying baby and held him. I whispered in his ear that he was mommy's little champion.

But I seriously wanted to curl up with him on the examining table and cry too.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Catching up...

- I have learned how to get things done while Chipmunk sleeps. Yesterday, I was able to shower, wash my hair, dry and flat iron my hair, make and eat breakfast, eat lunch during his naps.

- my milk supply decreased, and now I'm drinking Milkmaid tea to boost it. Its cool because I get to use my tea kettle, and the tea is yummy!

- my son is the best burper I know. He's a champ!

- he will sleep for hours if I use the white noise app on my phone. I place the phone in his crib and use the "car ride" noise... He loves it!

- I just got my first speeding ticket since 1999... I was PISSED!!!!!

- I've spent waaaaaayyyyy too much money on new clothes... But I "needed" them. I was gonna get some boat shoes for the summer, but I got the stupid speeding ticket... Ugh!

- I like walking in the mall before it opens because it's peaceful and everyone is there either to exercise (the older folks) or walking babies in strollers.

- I went walking with a friend the other day and barely made it back to the house... Thank goodness she's an EMT! That day made me realize the importance of getting back in the gym.

- my husband (and I) are slightly addicted to a place called Jilly's Cupcakery... I'm picking some up today for a friend and his girl (and me and Zack)

- my dad took the beloved recliner down to his house... My parents have been enjoying it since Wednesday, and Zack and I have been in mourning.

- I am super afraid of getting pregnant before Charlie is two. I would not mind vowing celibacy until we're ready to conceive again because I'm so afraid.

- my hands are like sandpaper all the time because they are constantly in water.

- for the first time ever, we have no food (besides breakfast food) in our refrigerater, and I've been diligent about eating leftovers.

- I really like ice cream but it gives me and my baby gas. *sigh*

- being a stay at home mom (even for 12 weeks) is a full- time, around the clock job and should be respected.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Diaper Equality

Last night I came to the conclusion that all diapers are not created the same.

We decided to stop changing Chipmunk at night because it causes him to wake up and stay awake for two hours. That is something I just can't handle every. single. night.

We were good for three nights using the Huggies. When we woke up for the morning, we'd change his five pound diaper with no problem. Everyone was happy. Then we ran out of Huggies and started using another brand.

Last night was the first time using the new brand over night. When I woke up at 3am to feed the baby, I noticed that his belly was wet. I tried to convince myself that he was sweating in his sleep, but that wasn't the case.

He had pee'd so much that the gel in the diaper became full, and his diaper began to leak. So what did I do?

I initially toyed with the idea of leaving him in his wet diaper and shirt but quickly realized that that would be inhumane, so I changed him.








I am now in the process of digging through his diaper bags to find all the pre-packed Huggies diapers. The ones I find will serve as his nighttime diapers.

Mom Jeans

Now that I am getting used to my new (hopefully temporary) body, I am venturing further into my closet past the oversized sweatpants that used to belong to Zack.

My non-pregnancy jeans now button comfortably however...

my incision site is still sore, so I will only wear those jeans only while I am out and then change back into the sweatpants when I return home. Its a little disheartening that my battle wound is still sensitive but what is even more disheartening is the muffin top that has become my belly.

Due to the stretching of my skin and ab muscles, my belly is not (yet) flat enough to wear and look decent in my lower cut jeans.

Just the other day, I was getting dressed to attend a baby shower. Considering I haven't yet shaved my legs I decided it was in the best interest of everyone that I not wear anything that was cut above my ankles. A pair of jeans seemed fitting.

The first pair was cut low and, when I looked in the mirror, I decided that it would be a tragedy to wear them. I continued to look in the closet for something more fitting.


lo and behold...

I found a pair of jeans that I didn't really care for before I got pregnant. They were a pair of higher cut jeans that hit right at my belly button. They were unbelievably comfortable and also served as a denim girdle!

After having enjoyed those jeans all day, I decided that I will no longer judge women who wear mom jeans because now know why they wear them... its because they have mom bodies and bellies.

So, here's to mom jeans!

p.s. This is not a picture of me, and I will not wear mom jeans forever.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Well, My Mama Said...

My sweet mother can't remember much from her pregnancy with me... even though I'm only (on the verge of being) 29. She screws up the due date and how many weeks along she was when she had me. It really is awful when you're trying to ask your mom questions about pregnancy and you either get a different answer every time or get a vague "I don't remember that."


One thing my mom does remember is that she spent all of the money she had saved to sustain her while she was off work on purchasing a new wardrobe and jewelry. That story never changes.

She always tells me how she would get bored, strap me in a stroller, and go to the mall. Her biggest purchase (read: splurge) was a $400 herringbone necklace that she lost many years ago.

When I tell her about how I get bored at home, her first piece of sound advice is, "Put your baby in the car and y'all go walk around the mall."

Another thing she tell me is that I will not want to wear any of my pre-pregnancy clothes because they either won't fit right or I simply won't like them.

I can totally understand where she's coming from considering I didn't really care for many of my clothing before I got pregnant. My and Zack's Sunday shopping sprees in the Old Navy clearance section has turned my closet into a lazy college student's dream.

Well, just as my mama said, I literally want to vomit at seeing the clothes in my closet. Non of it matches, it looks cheap (because 98% of it is), and the good pieces have been ruined because I'm too lazy and cheap to take my stuff to the cleaners (which my dad would be appalled by because all of his clothes except his underwear go to the cleaners).

I can't wait to go shopping for new stuff and I definitely can't wait to throw out all the crappy old stuff.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


I would like to announce that it only took three weeks after having my baby for me to lose all of my baby weight (plus two pounds, but who's counting), and I would like to thank breastfeeding for my success.

I look in the mirror and notice that my stomach (uterus) has deflated and is about a month or two away from its original state... maybe. Point is... I can wear my prepregnancy jeans with no problem.

Then I turn around...

and wonder where the hell my butt went!

It, along with my belly, ravenous appetite, and swelling in my feet and hands, has deflated to no azz at all. Now, I realize that I never had a ghetto booty like Kim Kardashian, but I did have a little junk in the trunk going on.

I was walking in the kitchen, and my husband so kindly pointed out that I was "losing my butt" and he was sorta sad about it. My unspoken response, "Kiss my azz... whatever is left of it!"

I'm not super concerned because a smaller butt is something that can be plumped up with cobbler, cakes, and good southern food... all of which I am very fond!

The only obstacle is how to eat those things without adding the plumpness to my arms, thighs, gut, and face...

Monday, January 31, 2011


My baby wears me out... Especially at night because getting up three or four times a night to feed him, change him,'or keep him company is rough.

But everytime I see him curled up sleeping, my heart melts and I realize that sleepless nights aren't so bad.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Sleeping Arrangements

My baby refuses to sleep on his back. He screams if we even think about not placing him on his stomach. This has led to awkward sleeping arrangements because we simply cannot allow him to sleep on his stomach due to the risk of SIDS.

So... My husband and I have assigned ourselves shifts: I watch Chipmunk from 8p-2a, and my husband does the 2a-7a shift.

Zack let's Chipmunk sleep ontop of his chest, and I swaddle him tightly and put him in the boppie between my and Zack's heads. When this arrangement failed to work, I have taken him to his own room or the living room and stayed up with him for most of the night.

Well, last night, we decided that I should do my shift while sleeping and holding Chipmunk in the recliner in our bedroom.... And this was a great idea because I and Chipmunk ended up sleeping straight from 8p to midnight.

When I woke up, I realized that he had drooled on my shirt... And I...

Had drooled in the top of his head.

*don't judge me... or my drooling baby*

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

All Things Come with Practice

The first week (or two) at home with Chipmunk was a learning experience to say the least.

I was pooped on and pee'd on... And so were my sofas.

Of course, my parents' and husband's explanations for these mishaps were that I moved too slow when changing his diaper. Needless to say, I got HELLA offended by their rationales because, unlike my husband, I didn't get all that hands-on training in the hospital because I was laid up after having had my abdomen sliced and pried open AND I was tripping from the pain medicine (which was later changed after realizing it was making me loopy and hot as hell).

Well, now...

I can change a poopy diaper... At 2:00am... In the dark... Without so much as a whimper from my baby...

Because I do it in NASCAR pit stop speed!

The only thing I have to do now is learn how to get him to go back to sleep because he has now sucked down another three ounces of milk, is climbing up my torso, and staring me in the face.

Out of Your Hands

The saying (and truth) goes... Babies come when they want. Some early, some late, some "on time".

That darned expected due date is just that... expected. I look back on my friends and their pregnancies and realize that only one (out of about five or six) gave birth on her due date. Three of us were early and one was late.

When I went to my doctors appointment that fateful Thursday, I had no clue at all that I'd be having my baby the next day. The news of my induction took my husband and I by surprise considering we had another two weeks and had planned accordingly (I had just gone to the grocery store and bought an army load of meat so that we'd be prepared to not cook when the baby came... in two weeks. All but the roast was spoiled when we returned home five days later.).

But with the knowledge of the fact that I wouldn't go into spontaneous labor, we celebrated our last pre-baby day eating all we wanted at the Cheesecake Factory (which seems to be our unofficial celebratory restaurant). Ironic enough... When we were seated at our booth, we realized that our wedding song was playing (By Your Side by Sade). Afterwards, we ran home; I got my eyebrows done and washed my hair and Zack cut his because we didn't want to look busted on any hospital pictures. We were only able to plan that much and nothing more. Everything after that was out of our hands.

We try to plan more now that he's here but guess what... All we can do is try.

*Happy Birthday, ZYG!!!*

Monday, January 24, 2011


I will admit... After having carried Chipmunk for 9 months, I wanted him to look exactly like me and have my personality. I felt like that much was owed to me for carrying and having a baby.

Anyhoo... our kid looks just like his dad with the exception of my complexion and fingers and toes. I won't complain about him not looking like me because he's so... darn... cute and snuggly!

But dang!!!

Maybe he'll look like me as he gets older?

Lean, Mean, Pumping Machine

I pump every three to four hours because my body forces me to and to have a stash of milk in the fridge.

After reading some stuff on a baby app and on the Internet, I wondered if my milk supply would dry up because I wasn't nursing. If this happened, I'd have to resort to giving Charlie *gasp* formula. Don't get me wrong... I was raised on formula and have no bad feelings toward it, but it gives my baby THE WORST gas. We had to supplement in the hospital until my milk came in, and I thought my heart would break after every feeding when Chipmunk cried because of the discomfort.

It was in those formula moments that I decided to breastfeed no matter what it took. So now... I pump (because nursing usually feels like razor blades attacking my poor nipples)... I pump like my life depends on it.

And after nearly three weeks... I have just pumped my own personal best despite what those crazy people say on those apps and on the Internet... I just got *drum roll, please*

9 ounces!!!!!

That's three whole meals for Chipmunk!

Woo hoo!!!!!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

All By Myself

Zack went back to work a few days ago, and my mom went home yesterday after being here for a few days.

So now... Its just me and Chipmunk.

Just between you and me... I cried after my mom left.

I held my sleeping baby and told him that mama was lonely but that we would both be ok. He responded by snuggling into my arms.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Baby's Breath

After having experienced and witnessed the effects of holding a sleeping baby, I am convinced that baby's breath contains some sort of gas that puts adults to sleep...

This baby has made us (and anyone who holds him) narcoleptic.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


When I was pregnant and while I was in the hospital having Chipmunk, I asked women (read: mothers) a lot of questions about their experiences during pregnancy and childbirth. My first question would be...

"Do you have kids?"

Then I ask if pregnancy was awful for them and how painful their delivery was. I rarely asked a question in "the positive". I always expected them to say that they had horrible pregnancies and that labor was the most painful experience of their lives.

But to my surprise, they would always get thoughtful looks in their eyes and make the followin statements:

Oh... Pregnancy and delivery weren't that bad!
Sure it's painful, but it's not that bad!
I really don't remember, but it wasn't as bad as people say.
I had three babies... All natural! So, it couldn't have been that bad.

Please note that "bad" is a word used in all the answers...

That's because "bad" was the word I used to describe my symptoms and my expectations for my upcoming delivery.

I realized that these women had developed some sort of mommi-nesia. It's a type of amnesia that affects women sometime during the post-partum period.

I was affected by it around the fifth day after delivery... Because those four days following the surgery were BAD!!!

I have run into a couple of pregnant friends who just seem to be totally over their pregnancies, and I realize that they probably sound the way I did during that last month.

When I speak with them (and anyone else for that matter) about pregnancy and labor, I sound just like those women I spoke to before having my baby.

My responses to their questions are positive and upbeat:

"I feel great! It really wasn't that bad and it definitely wasn't as bad as I expected!"

"My pregnancy? Oh! It was really good and easy!"

"I'd do it all again in a heartbeat if I could afford to have another right now!"

Because the truth is... In the grand scheme of things, pregnancy and labor weren't so bad... I mean, I've had cramps that were worse!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Angel Wings

Our little Chipmunk is two weeks old today, and we've enjoyed getting to know his mannerisms and pieces of his personality.

One of his most interesting characteristics is that he smiles and giggles... In his sleep. No matter how much we try to make him laugh when he's awake, we just can't duplicate the responses he gives when he's asleep.

I like to think that, when he's sleeping, he's playing with the angels he left in Heaven, and he's being tickled by their wings.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

So Long, Good Friends

I didn't gain much weight or swell much during my pregnancy, but I did find that I couldn't wear many of my shoes or my wedding ring set. As a compromise, I wore only my wedding band and the same three pairs of shoes for the last five months.

The shoes I wore were a pair of black Nine West flats. I bought them nearly ten years ago, and it took forever for me to break them in.... but once they were broken in, they were as comfortable as slippers.

Needless to say, they took a beating these last five months because I wore them with everything and all the time. I remember being at a doctor's appointment and needing to take them off. Once I got them off, I was embarrassed at all the gunk that was stuck to my feet: old crumbling leather, caked up lotion, and other crap. I quickly wiped off my feet and toes hoping that no one would notice.

At that time, I realized that my love affair with my beloved flats was coming to an end. I needed to get rid of them, so I vowed that I would throw them away after I had the baby.

So... this blog post is in honor of my loyal shoes...

"Dear Nine West flats, you served Charlie and me well, and we love you!"

Black and Blue

While in the hospital having Charlie, I was given a total of five IVs... two in my right arm and three in my left. I experienced the pleasure of blowing two veins in my left arm, and as a result, this is what my arm looks like... two weeks later!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Look! No hands!

So... Here I am.

Sitting in my bed.

Hooked up to a breast pump.

That may not seem strange since it is now big business for women to breastfeed. I didn't seem strange to me either especially since my husband went out and purchased one of the nicest pumps out there, the Freestyle Medela.

I was really excited about using it as It allows me to pump with no hands. The pump attachments hook to my nursing bra straps and the pump does the rest.

This is the first time I've hooked it up to use it handsfree. If I wanted, I could fold laundry, cook dinner, or complete a yon of other household chores all while pumping both breasts. As I look down at this contraption, I feel like one of those cows hooked to a milking machine. I feel weird. I feel like cow.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Labor and Delivery

In continuation of the last post...

I labored from right before lunch to 5:00pm, and I didn't dilate past five centimeters. At that time, I had tremendous pressure in my right hip, and turning on my left hip made it worst. It literally felt like someone was jarring off my right hip with a crowbar. All this even with the (useless) epidural.

When my doctor walked into my room and sat on her stool next to my bed, immediately told her I needed a c-section... She agreed.

At that moment, two or three other people came into the room and started prepping me for surgery. I was so tired that it didn't matter what they touched or saw of me. Next thing I knew, I had confirmed that I was numb from the chest down and was being wheeled to the OR.

As I was wheeled down the hallways, turning this way and that, I forced myself to stay awake... With inconsistent luck.

I opened my eyes and noticed the sterile room and all the people. I asked where my husband was.

They confirmed again that I was numb. I was hoisted onto the operating bed by a team.

A blue sheet was raised in front of my face. I heard my doctor's voice.

I willed myself to stay awake. I saw Zack standing at my head.

The doctors were talking about things non-surgery related like vacation, working at other hospitals, and their families. I thought that all these snapshots of my c-section were not at all like what I'd seen on Special Delivery and The Baby Story.

I was told that I'd feel pressure and like I couldn't breathe. I "held my breath".

I doze off for the hundredth time.

I heard them ask, "Daddy, what is it?!"

I woke up knowing that this was a huge moment and that I'd beat myself up forever if I missed it.

I looked over my shoulder at Zack. He smiled and said, "A boy!!!" I smile.

The screen faded to black.

I woke up after some unknown amount of time and realized I hadn't heard my son cry. I asked why he wasn't crying and where he was.

Someone placed a bundled baby in my face and said, "here's your son! You can kiss him." I kissed his forehead; they took him away.

They wheeled me to the recovery room.

I am so glad that I could stay awake to experience those snapshots of my son's birth!