All Good Things

They come to an end.

I finally return to work tomorrow. After having been away for twelve working weeks or fourteen calendar weeks.

I leave my baby boy with teachers and caregivers while I go teach someone else's little boy or girl. Right now, at this moment, it just doesn't seem right. Seems ironic.

Six weeks ago, I was excited to be wasting time in my empty classroom because I wanted to be out of the house and away from my husband, parents, and demands of being a new mother. When my co-workers saw me walking into the building, they couldn't believe that I was away from the baby so soon and wondered why I would leave him (if even for a moment) to come back to work (if even for a moment). I explained that I was dedicated to my job and wanted to make sure everything was good for my substitute. I took my time going home that day... Speaking to everyone, going to the grocery store, driving the speed limit.

Now, I lament my lost maternity leave days. Days spent snuggling in the bed while Zack went off to work. Time spent kissing Chipmunk's little nose, chubby cheeks, and scrumptious toes. Moments spent smiling at each other.

I am sad. I've known all along that my leave would end. I thought I was ready, but Im not so sure I am jut yet.