Wednesday, November 18, 2009


My mom had her big time 60th birthday party this past Saturday at the Blue Room. We were sure to invite all her good friends and family. One of the people who fall into the combination "friends/family" column is my parents' neighbor's mother whom i'll call Mrs. P.

Background on Mrs. P... I totally freakin' LOVE her! She's sweet, and so is her husband. My senior year in high school, they offered for me to live with them in New Orleans if I was to attend Xavier or any other university in the area. They'd say, "If you want to be in medicine, you can work in Mr. P's pharmacy while you major in biology!" They bought Zack and me a really nice wedding gift, and all-in-all, are like family.

Fastforward to last Saturday...

Mr. and Mrs. P walk into the party, and I greet them at the door. They both hug me tightly and kiss me on the cheek. Then......

Mrs. P says with increasing excitement, "Wow, Nikki! Look at you in that dress! And your face is GLOWING!!! ARE YOU PREGNANT?!?!?!"

I giggled and shook my head "no."

"Why, you MUST be! Look at you!!! You're glowing!"

***Notethat all of this is going on at the door of the party, and people are coming in.***

I insist, "Nope. I'm not pregnant. I've just gained a few pounds since you last saw me."

"Well, Zack must be giving it to you GOOD because it looks like marriage agrees with you!"


wait a minute... **double cringe**

Mrs. P looks at me frontways and backways and is adamant that my husband must be laying the smack down in the bedroom because my butt had filled out (not exactly her words, but thats exactly what I heard).

That moment definitely ranks a strong #2 on my Most Random Awkward Moments scale (only second to my mom telling me she found a CD with nude pics of me... which was totally a lie, FYI).

I just kept giving her a nervous giggle while hoping that God would make the moment disappear.

I couldn't imagine my mother being that way! If she were, I'd be writing this blog from a rock I decided to hide and live under.

I know Mrs. P only meant the best, and will probably be one of the most excited people whenever we do get pregnant. I wonder what she'll say then?!?!

It'll probably be something TOTALLY inappropriate like, "I bet he blew your back out!"

***shudders at the thought***

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