Saturday, March 13, 2010

Conception Instructions

My cousin, who has two of the cutest girls ever, forwarded me conception instructions. It seems like every time Z and I get instructions on conception, those instructions get more and more technical. It is seriously like running a company that has set extremely specific financial goals. Thank goodness we both have a few business classes under our belts from changing our majors and minors in college so many times.

These new instructions not only tell us on which days we should get grooving... but they also tell us the time of day (yes, because on day 15 you should have sex in the morning instead of the night like you were supposed to do on the 13th).

I am in the process of using a calculator to determine which day and what time... yes! a freakin' CALCULATOR!!!

Sooo... these are the short of the instructions...

1. engage in love making the way you normally would
2. fold a pillow in half and prop it under the woman's butt
3. engage in intercourse
4. Man... before you release, get as close to the cervix as you can and hold there
5. Man... once you release (staying close to the cervix), withdraw immediately
6. Woman... immediately pull your knees to your chest and lay on your back for an hour

Yes, an hour... on my back... I'll have a hard time laying there 20 minutes because I'll either have to use the bathroom or get a snack. We practically have to build a "conception" conception board for this! This is freakin' baby making acrobatics! But you know what??? We're all about it.

With all the gadgets and things we got going on this time around, somethings gotta happen... if not conception, maybe a broken hip? We'll see!

1 comment:

  1. This is going to sound so simplistic...but the best thing the two of you can do is go on a getaway during ovulation and don't go into it thinking about conception. Everyone has told you this I know; but it really does happen when you aren't thinking about it and you're relaxed. It's hard to relax at home with work, bills, household chores etc. on your mind. :-)