Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Uncompromising Positions

What do you do with three pillows under your hips, a full bladder, a cramped neck, your knees in your ears, and a husband telling you "the instructions say you gotta stay like that for at least an hour"??

You blog...

You blog about how awful it is...

And, you frown at how awful your feet look because you haven't gotten them done since September (don't judge me), and you swear that you'll be the first one in the nail salon on Saturday morning.

Then... You realize (again) how badly you have to pee and know that in two days, when you have to do this again, you won't drink anything after 4pm.

You ask yourself (and God) why your husband wasn't made a woman and you a man so that you could be the one walking around, using the bathroom, and watching a movie while his bladder explodes and he stares at his knees and (jacked up) feet.

You constantly inquire about the time and wonder how an hour can last SO long and then you think of all the good sleep you're missing and how tired you'll be in the morning.

Then finally... You make the executive decision that you will defy the instructions and got to use the bathroom because (doggon' it) you've got three more fertile days and an ovulation day left!

-getting up to use the bathroom-


  1. I read this late last night and DIED laughing!!
    Tell Z, a good husband would sit still in the bed with his miserable wife. Better yet, an awesome husband would give you a pedicure. Wait...is that even possible while on your back?
    Poor baby...