Monday, February 8, 2010

Bad Dreams

The other night I had the craziest dream... well, it wasn't any crazier than all the other dreams I have, but it was one of those that stood out. I usually have vivid dreams and/or nightmares, and I always remember them. I think it might be genetic because my mother also has cinema type dreams. It was a regular thing in my home growing up that we'd wake up and tell stories of what we dreamt that night.

Well, Friday night I dreamed that I went to the doctor after trying for so long to get pregnant. The doctor ran tests and told me that the fluid in my ovaries was nonexistant and that my eggs were deteriating because of it. I remembered being like, "What the heck are you talking about 'fluid in my ovaries'"?!?!?

The doctor was adamant that I would never be able to conceive because my eggs had shriveled up and were rotting. Graphic, hunh?

In the dream, I drove home to tell Zack and his response was one of optimism.

"Steph, don't worry what that doctor says. God can make anything happen! There were women in the Bible having children when they were elderly."

I met his response with anger. "OBVIOUSLY you didn't hear what I just said! Doctors take tests. Those tests yield results. And the results suggest that my eggs are dead! I can't have children!!!"

I can't remember much of the dream after that. I'm sure it just transitioned into something totally random like me vacuuming a hardwood floor or sitting on top of a power line.

It was definitely one of those dream moments like in "Devil's Advocate" where Charlize Theron dreams that the baby is playing with her uterus and ovaries in the spare bedroom. She believes that the devil has taken her reproductive organs and that should wouldn't be able to conceive. She wakes up screaming and tells her husband who says that nothing was wrong and that he was sure her ovaries and uterus were fine.

Ever since I had this dream, I've been googling "ovaries" to see if there is actually some sort of fluid in them that protects the eggs... no luck yet, so I'll assume that a dream is just a dream.

I'm planning to set up a doctor's appointment for this month just for general purpose.

And I also plan on getting my eyes checked because I can't see squat!!!!

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