Thursday, February 4, 2010

Rumbly in my Tumbly

*My parents house in 2006; Bathroom; Early morning.*

Me: (in the bathroom, yelling) Daddy! Come here!
Daddy: (in his room) What is it?
Me: Daddy! Come here now! There's something in the vent!
Daddy: Wait a minute. Here I come. (Sloshes in his houseshoes to the bathroom)
Me: (Ear to vent) Do you hear that?!
Daddy: (trying to wake up) I don't hear nothing!
Me: Lean closer to the vent! I think its a frog!!! You can't hear that?!?!
Daddy: (leaning closer to vent) Well... (obviously hearing something)
Me: See! You heard it!
Daddy: Yeah... but its not coming from the vent. (standing straight and looks at me)
Me: It is!!!
Daddy: No. Its coming from your stomach. (smirks and sloshes back out the bathroom)
Me: Wha...??? (listening)
(background: Daddy talking junk about me to mama)

My stomach is the LOUDEST mofo around. It literally screamed out in the middle of a Chemistry test (with 100 students) when I was a sophmore in college. When everyone looked around at me, I asked the girl sitting two seats away if she'd heard it. She started laughing. I wrote my name on my test, walked down the stairs of the lecture hall, turned in my test, and went back to my dorm room. Shortly after that, I dropped the the class and my major and never became a pediatrician... but thats another story.

I can't even say its because I'm hungry because I can be a number of reasons why my stomach speaks. It can be hungry; It can be full.

It can be the dairy, the iceberg lettuce, the red tomato sauce, the ground turkey, or anything in between.

It speaks now... What does it say???


I think my stomach chants! or maybe not.

I wonder how my stomach will react when there's a baby chilling a few doors down in Mrs. Uterus. Will it calm down? or will it be jealous and act up?

No comments:

Post a Comment