Sunday, January 3, 2010

Get Your Tail in the Car!!!

Let me tell you something about my husband. Zack is an AWESOME nurse for me when I'm sick. As a matter of fact, it is a big part of why I married him. When we were dating and on my 25th birthday, I caught the worst case of strep throat, and he drove downtown to pick me up from work (after my boss demanded that I go home), purchased a Carvel icecream cake and some fancy schmancy soup from Whole foods, and took me back to his apartment so that he could care for me until I was better (about three days later).

With that being said... My husband is THE WORST at being sick.

I woke up this morning, cooked breakfast, and told him that I was taking him to the Walgreens clinic to get some meds. Without looking at me, he moans and groans and says that he doesn't feel like going. He can't breathe, he's snotting on all our towels, and he looks like crap.

Trying to use the patience I resolved to use on December 31, 2009, I responded with rolling my eyes and sighing loudly, and followed that with an obvious silent attitude.

He finally says, "Whats your problem? You mad at me now?"

I tell him that the clinic opened at 11 (it was 12:35 and we were watching "Moving up") and closed at 4pm.

He sighed and said he didn't feel like moving because his body hurt and maybe he'd be ready to leave the house at 1:30.

I try to muster up another round of patience and fight down the urge to go berserk. Instead, I don't.

I "calmly" say:

"See! There you go! I'm trying to be a good wife and take care of you, and you won't listen! You're hard headed, and you'll be sick forever! You claim you want to get me pregnant, but how can you when you can't even breathe through your nose. My period will be over, and I'll be ovulating, and you'll tell me we can't have sex because you won't feel good. We're leaving at 1. When this show is over, you're gonna go put your shoes on and we're leaving. That line is gonna be long! Or... you know what? Don't go! Don't go and get medicine and be sick forever. People die from sickness like this because they're too stubborn to go to the doctor! What do we need insurance for anyway if you're not gonna use it?! Do what you want!!!"

Shortly afterwards, we were upstairs getting ready to leave for Walgreens. We got there at 1:38, they told us that there was a two hour wait.

We got home at 7 after wasting the two hours at the mall, spending another 1.5 hours at Walgreens, and going to dinner at IHOP.

And to top it all off...... I think I'm coming back down with the crud! I feel like crap!

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