I'm Not a Brat... Just Uninspired

I grew up an only child even though my father has two sons from his previous marriage. I didn't meet them until I was a junior in high school. I am also the youngest grandchild on my mother's side (I have about 25 cousins)... so, I can often times seem like a brat because I'm used to things going my way... BUT... I am not. I just like things to go my way, and I don't like change (yeah, I realize how bratty that sounds). Well, this week at work, I found out that my duty (since I don't have a homeroom) was changed from an afternoon duty to a morning hallway duty. All I have to do is stand in the hallway and check for passes for about 40 minutes once a week. While I complained about the change, I said something like, "I'm such a brat." One of my co-worker/roommates (because we share a classroom) was like, "Yeah, you are... but not all the time... just sometimes." I felt so bad even though I know he didn't mean anything by it. I will be sure to shut my mouth and stop complaining about things that aren't an issue. I'm just really uncomfortable with a lot of changes, and this year has brought on a LOT of changes at my school.

Because of all these changes (friends going to teach at other schools, change of duty, new students, etc), I have found myself uninspired. I'm not particularly excited about anything, and this is totally different from how I normally feel about work. I don't know why I feel this way, but I'm just not into it this year. Long story short... I had to apologize to a kid for my terrible attitude towards him because I had to miss lunch trying to get his locker open (yes, he had to miss lunch as well, but we spent 10 minutes eating in the classroom while the rest of the class returned from the cafeteria). He kept apologizing while I wallowed in my pity and craptastic attitude. I felt terrible! Especially after finding out that the locker issue was an error of the administrators and not the kid. When I realized how horrible of a person I was being, I knew that I had to apologize and ask that kid for forgiveness... so I did just that this morning (and I also asked if his locker was working). He accepted my apology and said that his locker worked just fine.

My new students are very sweet, and they haven't been a problem, but I really do miss the students from last year... but now that I think about it... I think it took a while for me to adjust to last year's kids at the beginning of the school year.

I found inspiration in the locker kid's grace and the fact that I know that I'll grow to adore my new students, and I'll be just as sad to see them move on to eighth grade next year.